This is a follow up to my last post about Car Underwear...For A Girl
I called every single local kids clothing store I could think of asking if they carried kids underwear. All of them said no which means I never made it to my second question, if they had car undies. So I caved and went to Target and bought Bug the car undies she's been talking about for a month. And I bought her the boy ones.
Earlier this week we were in the underwear isle and she saw The Ones and nearly launched herself out of the cart to get to them. She was reaching for the boy undies. When I showed her the package of pink car undies, she promptly turned her nose up at them and said "these ones mama," pointing to the package of blue colored briefs. I just smiled and said we'd have to see if Santa brings them.
Tonight, I walked around the store carrying those boys undies and a Lightening McQueen car to put in her stocking, wondering if I was making the right decision. Should I be pushing more "girly" stuff on her? Should I make her wear dresses and leggings that match and curl her hair and put pretty bows in it? Am I doing her an injustice by allowing her to wear boy underwear, dinosaur jammies, and play with trains? Is she less of a girl because she chooses to snuggle a dinosaur than a doll? No. She is who she is. Yes, some days she wears blue sweatpants and an orange stripped monster shirt with her green froggie boots and a pumpkin hat. But there are also the days when she wants to wear a pink dress, stripped leggings, and have her hair done in pigtails with ribbons in it. I let her pick out what she wants to wear every day, after all I choose what to wear based on what kind of mood I'm in.
So for Christmas my daughter will find exactly what she's been so patiently and enthusiastically asking Santa for. Car undies. Boy ones.
After I got home from the store, I saw a friend had posted a link on Facebook about how a teacher handled gender stereotypes in her classroom. I swear to you it was a sign. I'm confident in my decision to let Bug be the person she is and to not let society mold her into what they believe she should be. Reading this put me that much more at ease. Here's the link to the article about the teacher who helped her kids break the barriers of gender stereotyping.
I will be blogging more about this issue, because to me it is an issue. It's everywhere. All you have to do is open the Sunday newspaper to the ads and you'll see girls playing house and boys tinkering with tools. Or turn on the tv to any kids channel and you'll see it all over the commercials. Boys are doing active activities while girls are playing with dolls, cooking, or putting on nail polish. Why does society feel the need to create labels and not only put them on our children, but expect them to uphold them?
I would love to know you're thoughts on gender stereotyping. Do you find yourself in the same position? Do you believe that girls should be girls and boys should be boys? What about friends and family, do they agree? Disagree? Have your views changed over the years?
~JO
I read the link and thought it was awesome. For what it's worth, I would post the link on fb if nothing else it will get people thinking, next dialoging which might prompt a new outlook. As far as where Addie is at--it's just where she is at right now. She will move past her current obsession, whatever they are, into another faze for awhile and then it repeats. You were on the first girls hockey team-talk about gender stereotyping!! My generation of women fought to tear down this stereotyping so our children could become whatever they wanted to. As I do, so will you--you will love them unconditionally, on whatever path they choose to take. Hugs, kisses and peace.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, stereotypes about gender roles are doing a disservice to our children. I'm all about breaking down those barriers and encouraging our children to explore all that they fancy! My favorite toys growing up we're Tonka dump trucks and spiderman. My boys have a kitchen, strollers and baby dolls. How else are they going to learn to be loving, nurturing daddy's? The same way little girls do...by playing house, pretending to be a parent, feeding their babies, etc. Pat yourself on the back for encouraging your babe to wear her new cars undies with pride!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the words of encouragement. It's hard fighting the stereotypes society places on us. But we must keep up the fight to continue to break down the barriers. Women doctors, African American presidents, stay at home dads, these are all stereotypes that have been conquered. Here's to more.
ReplyDeleteSo I found myself in the underwear aisle at Target last evening...picking out big girl underwear. My daughter let out the biggest shriek..."MICKEY" when she saw the underwear...but of course they were boy underwear! Having you blog post in mind...I simply said "YAY...MICKEY" and we got them! Of course she was excited about the Minnie girl underwear, but not comparable to the boy mickeys. So what if the Mickey underwear has blues, greens and browns...who ever said that those were boy only colors?? I am sure in a couple months we will be on to something else...but for now I refuse to make my almost 2year old feel like they made a "wrong" choice for simply wanting Mickey on her first pair of underwear. Thanks for the post, I don't know if I would of reacted in the same way without it!
ReplyDeleteSo glad Megs! J has been trotting around in Emelyn's bonnet hat the past few days.. Today he wore her pink one.. We got a few glances at Chipotle and one little girl asked why he was wearing a girl hat. He also sported her pink pants as capris this afternoon and Eme Lu has been wearing his dinosaur shirt and his pants.. She gets called "he" on a regular basis and I don't care one bit!
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