It's a constant battle in my head. As I texted my sister today and told her Z and I were talking about moving in to the city more I followed up with "I know, I know I go back and forth between farm and city life." She then proceeded to tell me that I'm farm/city bi polar. She's totally right! In my head I have this dream of living on acreage with my expanding brood and having a self sustaining farm to feed our family. My kids would have some amazing life experiences with great work ethics. And then my bi polar kicks in and I think to myself that most of my friends live in the city, there are more schooling options for the kids, the co-op is there, the farmers market, bike trails, parks, bus lines (we could go down to one car and Z could bus it to work). The city is busier but the resources are greater.
Let me step back a little. We currently live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home in the suburbs outside of the city about 20 minutes. We have a great yard, we live on a culdesac, and Z is a part of the volunteer FD here. I know, reading this many would think we are crazy to even consider a move. Sometimes I think so too, and Z definitely leans more towards staying where we are for now. Then there is this part of me, almost every time I meet a friend within the city, that feels as though that's where we belong. When you live in a suburb you create a life within that town. Schools, friends, neighbors, etc; and the longer you stay put the harder it is to move. Your kids get bigger and they make friends and it becomes hard to walk away from it. J is almost 4 and he is making neighborhood buddies. As time moves on this house will become his home and it will be really hard for us to take him away from this. Right now, because he is so young, his friends are friends we've made in ECFE or Waldorf, or our playgroup we are a part of and I can set those meetings up. Eventually though, he is going to make friends in his t-ball or soccer class and they will all be from around this area. It just becomes more difficult the older children get.
I know I've written in previous posts but it amazes me how much Z and I have evolved together. We have done a complete 180 in our viewpoints and the things that are a priority for us. Both of us have surprised ourselves with how crunchy we are, how eco friendly we try to be, how much we have moved away from the mainstream public schools; mostly how organic we have become as a whole. I think this is a big reason why I feel the need to city live. Within the city you get a whole realm of culture and people from all different walks of the earth.
Then there's the rent or own debate. We have owned a house and we have rented plenty. The feeling of owning is a very proud feeling and a feeling that it is our own. We can change things and remodel and garden and don't feel bad if we spill something on the carpet. But with owning there is more responsibility and there is more maintenance. If anything goes wrong or breaks you are the one to fix it. On the flip side, if you rent you rent. There are no guarantees that you will be able to stay in this place long term and you take a gamble with the owner. It's usually more expensive and depending on where you rent you run the risk of having neighbors move in and out. There is also a feeling of freedom when you rent. You aren't tied down and if a job were to take you out of state you would be able to move. If you ended up with crummy neighbors then you have to choice to look elsewhere for a place to live.
In my bi-polar housing world, today I am okay renting. I like the flexibility it presents us with. There is a part of me that feels as though you have to explore your city and the suburbs that surround us in order to find where you want to be. I'm not completely certain that where we live is where our family is meant to stay put. I'm not certain I want to drive the kids twenty-thirty minutes to school a few times a week because that's where we found the best schooling option for them. There is a trade off to both.
For those of you who rent, do you like the flexibility it gives you? For those of you who own do you like the consistency and security you get from owning your home? I'm sure this is a discussion that I will come back to again soon!
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