Out of Control

I'm feeling out of control as  a parent.  Bug has been awake since 530 and needs to nap.  Desperately.  I need her to nap desperately.  {she woke up and instantly had a tantrum because I wouldn't let her turn on a light. Not a good way to start the morning}  Husband is out of town tonight, which means I'm on bedtime patrol.  I haven't put her to bed in months because she just won't do it for me.  It's a guaranteed 2 hour battle when I do it, versus the 20 minutes of peacefulness when Husband does it.  And now, if I can't even put her down for a nap, how am I going to put her to bed?  I also have to work tonight which means my girlfriend who's watching her is going to have to deal with this ugly, mean, and grumpy kid, right at the worst time of night...her witching hour.

I feel angry and mad and out of control.  I'm pissed that I can't get my kid to sleep.  What's wrong with me?  What am I doing wrong as a parent?  Why does she do this?  She's been awake for 8 hours and is a mess, yet I can't help her calm down her body to help her with what she needs to grow and be a healthy kid.  Plus when she does this it just sends me in to a fit.  My temper is already short because of lack of sleep and my nerves are fried from listening to a whiny kid for the last 8 hours.  I have no help, no where to go.  Family doesn't live close and I've already enlisted the help of friends today, no to mention Bug will be back at their place in a few hours.  So right now she's in her room having "quiet time" which is anything but quiet at this point. 

Thoughts on what I should do?  Have you found yourself in this place?  If so, how do you handle it?  And how do you keep it together when you feel out of control?