Life decisions

I'm certain that I was told over and over again that decisions and life only get harder. I am also certain that I balked at this phrase and thought to myself that my decision right now at this moment was the hardest decision ever. And at that moment, I'm sure it was. Today, however, I realize that what those people were telling me was that at some point in life I/we would have to make decisions that we were completely unsure if it was the right or wrong one. We would take leaps of faith and pray that we made the right choice, uncertain of how the future would unfold. I now realize what people meant, and life really does get harder and the decisions seem to get bigger. There are days when I wish I could just freeze time.

Today I photographed a friend of mines family who just welcomed their new baby boy into this world. This little man was welcomed by his two older brothers and by two pretty amazing parents. 

After we snapped some photos outside my girlfriend and I were able to sit down and chat for a while, just her and I and her sweet baby boy. As I looked at her and we talked I remembered the feelings that she was feeling. The feelings of overwhelmed, the feelings of bliss, tiredness, love, guilt, fear.. all of which stemming off of those post baby hormones we battle. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me how much guilt she had for being induced. My heart sank right there looking at my friend. I know that feeling, the motherly guilt that plagues us every day for one reason or another. She is a great mother and her love for her boys radiates when I spend time with her. But she, like most mothers, has the undying need to to protect her boys. To shield them from any pain and keep them safe at all moments. We carry with us their hurt, their happy and their sad. As mothers, we feel for not only ourselves but our kids too. We constantly wonder if we have made the best decision for our children, doubt ourselves at times and regret certain decisions.

Life decisions are hard. They are especially hard when you are making them for your children. The one thing that I have learned to accept is that we all make mistakes. We all make choices at times that were not our best choices, none of us are perfect. But I believe that you make the best decision with what's presented to you at the time. We are our own worst critics at times and we beat ourselves up for decisions we've made.  Being able to look towards the tomorrow, as hard as it can be at times, is what will eventually help us to heal. 

There are many decisions that lie ahead of us. I know that Z and I have some big ones that need to be made soon enough and I pray that somehow we will be guided in to making the best decision, trust our guts and take that leap of faith. Tomorrow is a new day and we will take it one step at a time. To my sweet friend. Look at these photos of your beautiful, healthy, happy boys. You are doing something right. You are a wonderful mother and they are so lucky to have you to help guide them each day. 

Big hugs on this Sunday evening! 

Megs