Give Up

At first glance at this post title many of you may be wondering what I plan to give up or if I mean it in a negative connotation by giving up. I stumbled across this post on a facebook page I follow and I was intrigued. The second I started reading I had to write about it. The title of this post was '15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy'.  Before I clicked I thought to myself, how can someone else know what I need to be happy or rather what I need to give up to be happy. This article is spot on. It isn't telling you to give up a specific thing, it's telling what we need to let go of and accepting ourselves. On my pathway of living a simpler life this was a wonderful article. I'm not going to write the entire post out, but I am going to give the 15 things you should give up on.


1) Give up your need to always be right. 
We've all been there. I hate when my husband is right and I am wrong, I'm not sure why that is! The competitive nature inside of us for someone reason at one time or another strikes and we have the desire to be right.

2) Give up your need for control.
I need to post it note this throughout my entire house, car, my person! I see it in J, his need to control the things around him. At 3.5 (even younger) we start seeing our children's need to control things. Yes, this is a very important thing for them to learn and I want him to learn to control certain things around him but controlling too much leaves you unhappy and filled with anxiety.

3) Give up on blame. 
Yes, we all could do this from time to time. Stop pointing fingers. In the end is it worth it? Is it worth ruining a friendship or a relationship over? Forgive, forget and move on. Life is too short.

4) Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
Stay positive. Stay positive!!

5) Give up your limiting beliefs. 
I'm working on this. I lack the self confidence from time to time and I often times don't believe in myself. I'm a believer in, "if you fall you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again". I just need to remind myself of that more often!

6) Give up complaining. 
Yes. I will try.

7) Give up the luxury of criticism.
Pre-children I was a judger. I was one that thought I had the answers for everyone's parenting woes. Two children later and I have not a clue! I am more than willing to give some suggestions but I no longer judge what parents are doing. As I've posted before, I am constantly feeling a bit judged by people because J is a bit harder than other children. It seems as though people around us are so critical of our parenting rather commending us and telling us we are doing a great job. What parents need to hear is not what we should be doing but that what we are doing is a great job. It has been a goal for me to work on this. Stop judging, stop criticizing and understand.

8) Give up your need to impress others. 
Again, something I've learned since having children. I have found friends that accept me for my messy house, who still want to hang out with me even though I haven't showered in days and who don't care what kind of car we drive or the size of our house or if my kids clothes have stains on them. They accept me, us, for who we are. It's a pretty amazing feeling to get to this point!

9) Give up your resistance to change.
I like change but it can be scary. It can also be good.

10) Give up labels.
This is something I so badly want to teach my children. Don't label people. Learn about a person before you label them, there is always a bit of back history that we don't know about.

11) Give up on your fears.
Someday I will go back to school and become a lactation consultant. I will pass the boards and I will do what I know I'm meant to do. I will put my fears behind me and I will do this.

12) Give up your excuses. 
Raise of hands.. how many excuses have you come up with to not go to the gym? But once you're there you're glad you went and you start a routine in your life.

13) Give up the past.
Ohh this is hard. The past can haunt us at times. But they're right. Let it go and move forward. You can't change was has happened but you can change what lies ahead.

14) Give up attachment.
Let go of "things". This can be a difficult thing to overcome but once you do you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. The things don't create your happiness, it's the memories that do. By letting go of whatever item it is, you can still hold on to the memory. Go slow but try it. Slowly start purging things from your home or your life. You'll feel the weight slowly lift.

15) Give up living your life to other people's expectations.
Stop worrying so much about what others think and what others viewpoints are. It is your life, your happiness. Live your life for yourself.

I have found that as I slowly stop worrying so much about what other people think and start living my life for me, I am happy. Life moves fast. My children are growing so fast and I can't turn back the clock. I live for me, for my children, my family. I have this inherent trait where I worry about hurting others feelings. I often times put others before myself and I end up getting burned. I am a people pleaser, I feel bad if I hurt someone's feelings or if they are mad at me and I internalize what I've done wrong. I am trying to stop this. I am trying to accept that I can't change how people feel and I can't make someone like me. What I can do though, is live each day. Really live each day and count my blessings at the end. There are no certainties, no promises in life but there is plenty to be grateful for. Here I stand with so much love and happiness surrounding me. It's time to give up those things in our lives that bring us down. Give up the anxieties and stressors. Find your happiness in each day. Take a risk, a leap of faith and wherever it leads you, you will find your happiness. Here is mine.