Waldorf Songs

Waldorf schools use songs to transition from one thing to another.  I find myself humming the songs all day long but can never remember the words.  Finally, today I remembered some of them and I've managed to get them down on paper before they fell out of my head!

The first thing we do when we arrive at playgroup is go outside (always and regardless of the weather).  When it's time to go inside, we gather for circle time and sing several songs.  These two are the one's we sing most often.

{this is spoken and not sung, it's perfect to say in the morning when you wake up}

Good morning dear earth
Good morning dear sun
Good morning to the stones and the flowers everyone
Good morning to the bees and the birds and the trees
Good morning to you and good morning to me.

Savor the Moments

How many of you have a subscription to Parents Magazine? I have one and like most parenting related literature you take some pieces of it and apply it to your life and other pieces you leave. This month had a fabulous article. Its title, Savor the Moments. You can already anticipate what's ahead!

Being a stay at home I feel like I am on at all moments of the day. Part of what comes with being home with the kids is that I am the one they turn to for most everything. J is getting to the age (3.5) where he will settle for dad or will hang out with my in laws but Eme Lu (1) is still such a mama's girl. Example, yesterday I got a haircut in my kitchen, and Eme cried the entire time if I wasn't holding her. Trying to get things accomplished throughout the day seems near impossible. My house suffers, I am sleep deprived most days, showering solo is a thing of the past, and laundry seems never ending. The daily grind I suppose. And I'm certain that for parents who are doing double duty of working full time and being parents it gets equally as difficult. Finding the balance of work, home life and spending quality time with your kids is a never ending struggle.

I need to savor the moments. Instead of focusing on what needs to get done I am starting to focus on what I have gotten done. That doesn't mean all the laundry is clean, folded and put away, because 99% of the time it's not or that my kitchen is always clean because that too is a rarity.  Today though, I had breakfast with my family. I read books with my kids. We listened to music and danced. I went to my first Zumba class and Z worked out while my kids went to my in laws, and they both did great! I did some picking up and there is laundry running right now. I hugged both of my kids and told them I love them.  As I write this, I lay next to my sleeping beauty and watch her eyes flutter while she dreams. I can hear Z and J "fixing" something together and having some good quality boy time. A snippet from the article that I think we should all ponder: "Each day with young kids feels like a week, each week like a month. Yet as every birthday passes, the years seem to be streaking by at warp speed. Five-month-olds become five year olds in the blink of an eye, and then 15 year olds."

Days get long, I am not one to argue that. Days where I feel like I have nothing left to offer and my patience are wearing thin, I can't wait for bedtime to come so I can rest. But then a new day comes and the next and like the article said, another year has passed. While our days seem to be long think about the content of your day. Think about all the times you've smiled watching your little ones, or big ones, do something that makes you proud. I am encouraging all of you to join me in pausing throughout the day to savor the moments. Smile, laugh, enjoy our little beings because before long the house will be quiet and we will yearn for the loud voices and the toys all over. Before we know it, our kids will be grown. Let's let our kids be kids and wear their pajamas all day, or wear two different colored socks, or paint their entire body just because it's fun. And while they're doing it, pause and smile instead of being quick to jump in. Who is with me?

xo

J when he was 15 months old. I look at this picture and can vividly remember our day together. Yet it was two years ago and he looks so little.

Eme Lu as a wee little one. Again, another day I remember and it feels like so long ago.

A recent one of Eme Lu. She's growing and changing soo fast!

And Mr. J. Wow, he looks like a big kid here!

The Evolution of a Mom

My J is three years old. Within those three years I have changed more than I ever dreamed I would. J's pregnancy was a "standard" modern medicine type pregnancy. Z and I went to the hospital that was closest to our house, took the childbirth classes that the hospital offered, had all the ultrasounds, listened to  the Dr.'s recommendations and even contemplated an induction if he didn't arrive around his due date (fortunately that never needed to happen). His birth went the same way. Went to the hospital at 3am, got the IV, all the exams, offered the epidural at least a dozen times, had some nu-bane, J had to have an internal fetal monitor, the list goes on. The Dr. was awful and J's entrance in to the world was not the way a baby should be born. It was cold, sterile, not peaceful (except for the moment when my little J was placed in my arms and the sounds of his little baby cry melted away any pain I was feeling) and exactly how I thought childbirth to be. Except that's not the way childbirth is supposed to be.

Free Hugs

We were at the bookstore today and Bug was playing on the ramp that goes from the lower level to the upper level.  She had done it a few times without incident but the last time it was different.  She stood halfway down, in the middle with her arms stretched across so no one could walk past. There was a little boy, who had to be no older than a year and a half, running full speed down the ramp directly at her.  I stood watching in horror and a split second before they collided, he fell into her arms and she wrapped hers around him, giving him the biggest hug ever.  It was like they had it planned the entire time.  My heart melted.  Right there in the middle of the store, I melted.  I could have exploded with pride.  Here I was, ready to say something to her about being nice and sharing and she did the kindest thing I could think of.  After he walked away, she looked at me beaming and said, "Give more hugs!" That was the only free hug she gave to a stranger today, but it reminded me of the youtube.com video of a man who stands on the street with a sign that says, free hugs (click here to watch this amazing video).  I've often wondered if that would work.  Have you ever gotten a free hug from a stranger?  Given one?  Have you ever been a witness to it?

A stranger giving free hugs.

Juan Mann is the man who started the free hugs campaign.  He has an amazing story of his trials and how he ended up on a street with a sign saying "Free Hugs." 

Keeping in Touch: The old days

I talk to my sister on the phone at least once a day and we text pretty much the rest of the time.  I am always asking her things, telling her little funnies (and the not-so-funnies too), and sending her pictures of what we're doing that day.  The best part, I get it all in return. 

Today I got to thinking, how did my mom stay in touch with her twin sister, who lived on the other side of the country, when we were kids.  Mom lives 6 hours away from me, but that's ok, I promptly picked up the phone and called her without hardly thinking about it. 

Money was really tight for both my parents and aunt so talking long distance was a luxury they were not afforded often.  I was shocked when she told me they talked on the phone maybe twice a month.  Twice a month!!!  I talked to my sister three times today!  How did they manage?!  I can't imagine not being able to share the amazing moments of my day, as well as the ones I don't want to remember.  Sissy always does a great job of talking me off the ledge calming me down or being just as excited, or more, for even the littlest things that are happening in my life.  And the same goes in return.  I love hearing how J and Eme are and seeing the great pictures she's taking of them.  It's like a little pick me up throughout the day.

Mom and Auntie Joyce wrote many letters to each other, which made getting the mail that much better.  I do remember getting letters in the mail when I was in high school from my best friend who was in college (yes, I'm dating myself) and it was wonderful opening the mailbox and seeing a bright envelope covered in stickers addressed to me.  I loved reading her letters, I still have some of them.

Those days are for the most part gone and while I miss them, I really love being able to talk to my sister and mom on a daily basis, even though we live 5 hours away from each other.  I am lucky to be able to do that.

-Jo   

Jar craft

I have been doing some rearranging and organizing of the kids rooms. Eme Lu hasn't had her own space as of yet and although I am very much pro room sharing I have realized how important it is for J to have his own space to retreat to. It gives him something of his own where he can zone out and not have to share things. I never thought I would do this but I am realizing how much HE needs this. So I am in the works of giving Eme her own space as well. She doesn't have much in there, since it's also our guest room. She loves crafts though. Stickers, colors, play dough, etc. I have so many mason jars and decided that I needed to jazz them up a bit and make a fun craft for the kids too. We decided to cover the jars with tissue paper. We made our own modge podge (half glue and half water) and tore pieces of tissue paper and glued them to the jar.

Here's J in our beginning phases of painting them on to the jar.

Eme Lu wanted to help as well!

This one we added stickers to the jar and then put the tissue paper over it. Turned out pretty cute.

Finished jars after they dried. It's not a perfect work of art but isn't that what makes art! Besides, J did most of this and I think he did a great job!

The jars now house our markers and paint brushes. We will likely make a couple more and add our color crayons and some other art supplies.

A nice way to turn regular mason jars in to something more appealing and fun for the kids! Enjoy.

xo

I love Mondays



A beautifuly hand felted sign that welcomes you as you walk through
the door of the Madison Waldorf School

It's true, I love Mondays. I know I sound crazy but seriously, it's one of my favorite days because it's Waldorf School Day. I get as excited as Bug gets to go, we love being there. For me it's a place where I feel at ease, find peace, and a sense of calm surrounds me. The feelings I have stay with me long after we leave, often for several days. I find I'm a better parent, spouse, friend, and I am more patient. For her it's a place where she can let down her guard, explore in an environment where imaginations run wild (and are encouraged), and to have some kid time with her friends. Since our first visit 3 weeks ago, she's been a totally different kid. Her play at home is more deeply involved, there is a lot of imagination play, and I mean a lot, and she's more creative with what she does with her (now very simple) toys.

During playgroup, adults do crafts and handwork projects while the children play.  I did not think this was possible, for me to be able to work on a craft project and Bug playing nearby, but it totally is!  

Children learn by seeing and imitating and when they see us activly engaged in meaningful work, they learn the dignity of work and the wonder of transformation.  They are also provided with ideas for imaginative play. 

-Nancy Gutknecht, playgroup leader

I love this beautiful quote.  I'm learning it's not only important for Bug to play, but it's equally important for her to see me doing meaningful work as well. Currently we're working on making felt story books. One of the amazing things about Waldorf education is it's focus on understanding how things work and where they come from. Our felt books, for example, started with a piece of wool, we shaped it into a rectangle and now we're adding different layers and colors of wool to it to make our picture. It's a work in progress, one that we'll work on for the rest of the semester. It's amazing being able to do this while the children play close by, occasionally looking over at us and being met with a smile and then going back to their important role of play.

 

The beginning stages of my felt book

A new J-ism

A little while back I had a girls night at a girlfriends house. It was pretty close so I left babe with two children who were wide awake, grumpy and ready for bedtime. I attempted to get them to sleep but it didn't work and if I hung around until they drifted off I would have missed the entire girls night! So off I went. I gave myself some extra Rescue Remedy sprays and prayed for the best.

I checked in with Z to see how everyone was doing and if I needed to come home. He got Eme Lu to sleep and was working on J. It wasn't going so well. When I got home I walked in to find Z sitting upright in the living room chair with Eme asleep on his chest and J asleep next to him sitting up as well. This is the story I heard..

Babe said J was having a tough time not having me home to lay with him. This was the dialogue between them..

J: "Dad drive me over there"
Z: "No buddy I'm not going to drive you over there. Mom will be home soon."
J: "Then I'm going to drive over there"
Z: "But you don't have a license"
J: "I'm just going to borrow yours daddy"

My three year old cracks me up! I thought this was one of the best J-isms to date! A photo to go along with the story..

SP chapter 1.. Why Simplify

I think I highlighted this entire chapter! Wow, what a great opening chapter. There were so many points that I felt hit hard for me. The very opening quote was this..

"we are facing an enormous problem in our lives today. It's so big we can hardly see it, and it's right in front of our face all day, every day. We're all living too big lives, crammed from top to toe with activities, urgencies, and obligations that seem absolute. There's no time to take a breath, no time to look for the source of the problem."

How true is this? I think so often we cram our days with so much to do's and activities. I myself, am so guilty of this. Not long ago after seeing J's behavior deteriorate I vowed that I would have Mondays and Fridays be at home days. We did pretty good, for a while. And then life got busy again. Holidays, things to do, people to see, events planned. That is one of my New Year goals, SLOW DOWN!!

Here are some more points from the book that I felt were good reminders and/or interesting facts.

-"when you simplify a child's "world" you prepare the way for positive change and growth"
-"..four pillars of too much: too much stuff, too many choices, too much information, and too much speed"
-"I sincerely believe that our instinct to protect our children will be what motivates us to change"
-"our society-with its pressure of "too much"- is waging an undeclared war on childhood"
-"..normal stresses are examples of "necessary resistance"
-"we cram more and more in to our homes"
-"..the average age at which American kids start using mainstream technology gadgets, such as cell phones, MP3 players, and DVD players is now 6.7 years"
- "sleep deprived, people are much less able to retain or use what they learn while awake"
-"can we better prepare our children for adulthood by treating them more like adults?"
-"acting out of anxiety doesn't usually lead to long term efforts, or changes, much less large-scale transformations"
-"our daily lives can become disconnected from the hopes and dreams we hold for our family"
-"..four levels of simplification: the environment, rhythm, schedules and filtering out the adult world"
-on referring to toys, "the simpler the better: dolls, building toys, cherished bedtime toys, some kitchen things, balls"
-when referring to a family he helped simplify.. "we didn't just take away toys, we carefully added some. In one of the baskets we put a stack of brightly colored fabric pieces, some rope and clothespins"
-"children are such tactile beings. They live fully by their senses that if they see something, they will also want to touch it, smell it, possibly eat it, maybe throw it, feel what it feels like on their heads, listen to it, sort it, and, probably submerge it in water"
-"all children are quirky"- this had to be a favorite of mine in this chapter!
- "q+s=d; or: quirk plus stress equals disorder"
- "stress can push children along the behavioral spectrum. When you simplify a child's life on a number of levels, back they come"
-"as parents we must not become "harmony addicted." It's tempting to hope that every day might be sort of a "rainbow experience" for our children"- this section was also another one of my favorites. It was a reminder that stresses and difficult situations help us in the long run. We can't completely shelter our children from everything.
-"when we overprotect, when we become so neurotic about the perfection of our children's every experience and waking moment, we don't protect them from sliding along the behavioral spectrum. We push them along it"
-"the central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears"- a powerful quote I think. 
-"...seven million children taking Ritalin"
-"Americans consume 80 percent of the world's Ritalin"- how depressing are these last two?
-"behavioral tendencies can be soothed or relaxed by creating calm"
-"kids are not monks who can meditate for hours a day, but they do equivalent when they are involved n deep, uninterrupted play"
-"as your awareness of your children widens and deepens, so too will your love"

Payne closes each chapter with this..

Imagine your home...
-as a place where time moves a little slower
-becoming less cluttered and more visually relaxing
-with space, and time, for childhood- and with time for another every day
-as a place were play and exploration are allowed, and honored
-having more ease as you begin to limit   distractions and to say no to this stress of too much, too fast, too soon
-as a sense of calm and security take hold
becoming a place where those we love know it, by virtue of our attention, protection, and appreciation.

I know this post has been a very long one but expect each chapter to be this lengthy! I was very impressed with this first chapter. I keep wanting to read more and if any of you are like me I need real life examples of someone who went from too much to simplified, which he gives. The one thing I can say is that the work that we have done to simplify around here has made me feel so good. It's almost become an addiction for myself, where else can I simplify. I now look around my house thinking, oh I don't need that. J has even started in saying, "you can donate that mom, I don't need it"! It feels refreshing to unload some of the clutter!

So if you have read this book or are thinking about starting it I'd love to hear your take on this first chapter. Has it pushed you to start the simplification process in your own life? Are you ready to tackle the clutter? I'm on the chapter two. Check back soon for more on 'Soul Fever'.

XO

A Mothers Love

This morning Eme and I were looking through photo albums (one of her favorite things to do) and I came across a photo book my hubby made for me on Mother's Day last year. What a lucky lady I am! He is such a wonderful man and is always doing what's best for his family. Okay enough doting on my handsome man, inside I found a poem that I thought I would share. Such a beautiful poem he shared with me and I thought all of you might like it as well.

A Mother's Love

A Mother's love is something
that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away...
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never falters
even though the heart is breaking...
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems...
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation...
A many splendured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.

Happy Sunday to you all!
XO

What makes a "peaceful parent"

My sister and I both, along with many others I know, follow a Facebook page called Peaceful Parenting. It is a wonderful site and provides us with so much useful information. For the most part I really enjoy this site and it fosters my inner "peaceful parent". There is however, a part of it that I very much do not agree with. They are self proclaimed "intactivists". For those who may not know what that means, they are very much anti circumcision. This blog post is a very personal one for me and a very sensitive one.
This is a touchy subject for many people. One that is very personal and I believe one that should not be judged. The other day as I was doing my daily FB check up I came across a question that was posted on there. The gist of it was this "how can a parent be an attachment parent and be pro-circumcision?". This post was made by a page called Saving Our Sons. I was enraged. Z and I made the decision to circumcise J for a variety of different reasons. I never thought of us as "mutilating" our child or "cutting" him as they so often refer to  it as. It sounds so violent and I certainly do not think Z and I are anything but loving parents. We love J sooo much and made this choice based off of our love for him and the facts we were presented with at the time. Misinformed? Absolutely. It's a topic I get very upset about when it comes to the medical world. We put so much trust in these Doctors to inform us and deliver us with both sides of the coin. Often times, they do not. As with this, we were told of all the bad things that could happen and that it's a "routine" procedure. It was a struggle up until the day I went in to labor. In the end, we made the decision to go ahead with it. One that I regret in some ways. That is why that question got me so upset. It was like adding salt to my open wound, a wound that I am working so hard on healing.

After processing this for a few days I keep thinking to myself, what makes a peaceful parent? This 'saving our sons' has basically said that you can not circumcise your son and be an attachment parent. What merit do they hold to take that title away from a parent, or to put stipulations on what an attachment parent means? Would they say the same thing about vaccinating? Giving vaccines is a choice that parents make for their child right? I don't think it's a right or wrong one way, I think it's a choice. What about natural childbirth vs. receiving an epidural? Does that start you off on the wrong foot of being a "peaceful parent". Co-sleeping vs. not? Breastfeeding vs. formula? These are choices we make as parents. We are confronted with tough decisions from the moment we find out we are pregnant. How do we know what the "right" decision is? I believe that parenting is a huge learning curve and that there is no "right". Have I changed as a parent from when J was born vs. when Eme was born? Absolutely. I have learned so much and my knowledge has expanded. I feel as though I have evolved as a parent over the past three years. I have learned that there is not one "right" way. Parenting is so much about what works for your child, your family. Z and I have veered off the mainstream course and are beginning to make decisions for our kids that others may question. I certainly don't want people to judge us based upon our decisions, I want people to acknowledge, from one parent to another, that we are doing what works for us.

I believe that Z and I are attachment, peaceful parents. Our children are filled with so much love from us, we nurture them, comfort them when they are hurt or sad, respect their feelings, embrace them for who they are and do not try and make them be who they are not. We have also chosen to have a big family bed, nurse them both on demand- J until 19 months and Eme is still going strong, vaccinate on some and not others, J was born in a hospital with no epidural and Eme at a freestanding birth center, baby wear them both as much as we can, not let them cry it out. These are our choices. I have many friends who choose other and I am in no place to judge them. This 'SOS' has made us feel that because of a choice we no longer are put in this category.

I believe that there are many parents out there that are peaceful parents. Most parents genuinely do what they think is best for their child. Making a decision that you later regret is not deserving of having that title taken away. When your children's love baskets are full, in my opinion, you are doing something that is right.

This blog post may be a controversial one. That is not my intentions. I am still mending some deep wounds. If Z and I were to have a boy again would we choose to circumcise him? I can't answer that. I hope that when the day comes when J asks us the why's we will be able to tell him in a loving way why we made this choice. I pray that he will not be resentful of our decision. For now, I am still working on my healing process. I'm hopeful that when that day does come, I'll feel stronger than I am today talking about it. This blog post is part of my healing, part of me standing strong as a parent. So just know, all parents make mistakes and/or choices they regret afterward. That doesn't take away from who you are as a parent, it makes you exactly that, a parent, a human being. Don't lose sight of who are as a parent and stand strong knowing your love for your children will overpower many of the other things.

XO

I Missed It

I missed it. Ugh, did I ever miss it. I was packing for a 2 day trip and Bug was keeping busy helping pack, playing with blocks, and doing other random things around the house. I walked into the kitchen and she was sitting on the floor under the table and counting. I asked her what she was up to and said she was playing hide and seek with the cat. Then she popped up, the cat ran, and she ran. It was adorable. And just like that I let it pass right by me without hardly blinking. I was too busy doing something, I don't even know what, but it could have waited. I should have stopped and played with her. This has happened before, I was "busy" doing something that wasn't important or could have waited and missed out on hearing her laugh so hard it has to be coming from her toes, or engaging with her as she's playing a game. The lesson I learned today, slow down. Unless its something that absolutely cannot wait, enjoy these moments. Breath. Just be. Enjoy.

Our Great Train Adventure!

Waiting.

Waiting some more.  In style. 

Bug and I took the train to visit family over a long weekend. It was quite an adventure, from driving in a snow and ice storm just to get to the train station to the train being more than 3 hours late getting us back home (forcing me to miss work).  The thing I kept telling myself is, it's not about the destination, but the journey.

One of the best things about the train are the people you meet. I've taken it many times and it's one of the things I look forward to most. Everyone is so kind. When we were at the station waiting for the train to arrive, another passenger was admiring Bugs blanket (fondly called Bia) when he opened his bag and handed her a tie-dyed cloth to keep. Turns out he does tye-dye for a living and was on a cross country trip to Seattle.  There was a kind man who helped me carry my bags from the train to the station, I had my backpack, luggage and a car seat as well as Bug in my arms.  There was no way I could carry it all and he saved me, plus it was 5 degrees out and we had a long way to walk to get inside.  We had talked on the train and come to find out his wife is pregnant with their 8th child (thanks Craig and good luck!). 

A real train table.  (That's a $6 beer there!) 

We had an awesome visit.  We hung out with my sister and the kids had a great time playing, I got to see my brother and his girlfriend and got some exciting news that my dad is getting married (congrats dad and Suzanne!).  We also had a great day at the Mall of America and hung out in the middle at the amusement park (not normally a place I enjoy going but this time is was fun).  My thoughts were confirmed, Bug is an adrenaline junkie.  We started the day off a semi truck ride for the kiddies that pretty much goes around a track and you can honk the horn.

We ended the day on the log chute.  My 2 year old daughter was obsessed with it.  I told her what it was about, it was dark and there was a huge drop at the end, that once we got on there was no getting off, but she didn't care.  So I bought the tickets and we went on it with my brother in law, Z, and my Uncle Bob.  I wasn't sure how she was going to do on it, but she loved it.  She didn't want to get off and once off, tried to get back on!  When I ask her about it now, she says her favorite part was the drop and the splash.  Seriously, what 2 year old goes on the log chute ride?!

The only thing I had to write/highlight with on the train were Bugs crayons.  You can't read Simplicity Parenting without marking up the pages! 

It was a great trip and while it had its challenges, it was worth every one of them.  It's true what they say, it's not about the destination, but the journey.  And it was a great journey I'm hoping she'll remember.   

A perfect moment.

MN winter..

It's usually dreadfully cold and we don't spend much time outdoors. Not this year, a glimpse in to what we've been up to this week. And I'm LOVING it!