I think I highlighted this entire chapter! Wow, what a great opening chapter. There were so many points that I felt hit hard for me. The very opening quote was this..
"we are facing an enormous problem in our lives today. It's so big we can hardly see it, and it's right in front of our face all day, every day. We're all living too big lives, crammed from top to toe with activities, urgencies, and obligations that seem absolute. There's no time to take a breath, no time to look for the source of the problem."
How true is this? I think so often we cram our days with so much to do's and activities. I myself, am so guilty of this. Not long ago after seeing J's behavior deteriorate I vowed that I would have Mondays and Fridays be at home days. We did pretty good, for a while. And then life got busy again. Holidays, things to do, people to see, events planned. That is one of my New Year goals, SLOW DOWN!!
Here are some more points from the book that I felt were good reminders and/or interesting facts.
-"when you simplify a child's "world" you prepare the way for positive change and growth"
-"..four pillars of too much: too much stuff, too many choices, too much information, and too much speed"
-"I sincerely believe that our instinct to protect our children will be what motivates us to change"
-"our society-with its pressure of "too much"- is waging an undeclared war on childhood"
-"..normal stresses are examples of "necessary resistance"
-"we cram more and more in to our homes"
-"..the average age at which American kids start using mainstream technology gadgets, such as cell phones, MP3 players, and DVD players is now 6.7 years"
- "sleep deprived, people are much less able to retain or use what they learn while awake"
-"can we better prepare our children for adulthood by treating them more like adults?"
-"acting out of anxiety doesn't usually lead to long term efforts, or changes, much less large-scale transformations"
-"our daily lives can become disconnected from the hopes and dreams we hold for our family"
-"..four levels of simplification: the environment, rhythm, schedules and filtering out the adult world"
-on referring to toys, "the simpler the better: dolls, building toys, cherished bedtime toys, some kitchen things, balls"
-when referring to a family he helped simplify.. "we didn't just take away toys, we carefully added some. In one of the baskets we put a stack of brightly colored fabric pieces, some rope and clothespins"
-"children are such tactile beings. They live fully by their senses that if they see something, they will also want to touch it, smell it, possibly eat it, maybe throw it, feel what it feels like on their heads, listen to it, sort it, and, probably submerge it in water"
-"all children are quirky"- this had to be a favorite of mine in this chapter!
- "q+s=d; or: quirk plus stress equals disorder"
- "stress can push children along the behavioral spectrum. When you simplify a child's life on a number of levels, back they come"
-"as parents we must not become "harmony addicted." It's tempting to hope that every day might be sort of a "rainbow experience" for our children"- this section was also another one of my favorites. It was a reminder that stresses and difficult situations help us in the long run. We can't completely shelter our children from everything.
-"when we overprotect, when we become so neurotic about the perfection of our children's every experience and waking moment, we don't protect them from sliding along the behavioral spectrum. We push them along it"
-"the central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears"- a powerful quote I think.
-"...seven million children taking Ritalin"
-"Americans consume 80 percent of the world's Ritalin"- how depressing are these last two?
-"behavioral tendencies can be soothed or relaxed by creating calm"
-"kids are not monks who can meditate for hours a day, but they do equivalent when they are involved n deep, uninterrupted play"
-"as your awareness of your children widens and deepens, so too will your love"
Payne closes each chapter with this..
Imagine your home...
-as a place where time moves a little slower
-becoming less cluttered and more visually relaxing
-with space, and time, for childhood- and with time for another every day
-as a place were play and exploration are allowed, and honored
-having more ease as you begin to limit distractions and to say no to this stress of too much, too fast, too soon
-as a sense of calm and security take hold
becoming a place where those we love know it, by virtue of our attention, protection, and appreciation.
I know this post has been a very long one but expect each chapter to be this lengthy! I was very impressed with this first chapter. I keep wanting to read more and if any of you are like me I need real life examples of someone who went from too much to simplified, which he gives. The one thing I can say is that the work that we have done to simplify around here has made me feel so good. It's almost become an addiction for myself, where else can I simplify. I now look around my house thinking, oh I don't need that. J has even started in saying, "you can donate that mom, I don't need it"! It feels refreshing to unload some of the clutter!
So if you have read this book or are thinking about starting it I'd love to hear your take on this first chapter. Has it pushed you to start the simplification process in your own life? Are you ready to tackle the clutter? I'm on the chapter two. Check back soon for more on 'Soul Fever'.
XO
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