Give Up

At first glance at this post title many of you may be wondering what I plan to give up or if I mean it in a negative connotation by giving up. I stumbled across this post on a facebook page I follow and I was intrigued. The second I started reading I had to write about it. The title of this post was '15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy'.  Before I clicked I thought to myself, how can someone else know what I need to be happy or rather what I need to give up to be happy. This article is spot on. It isn't telling you to give up a specific thing, it's telling what we need to let go of and accepting ourselves. On my pathway of living a simpler life this was a wonderful article. I'm not going to write the entire post out, but I am going to give the 15 things you should give up on.


1) Give up your need to always be right. 
We've all been there. I hate when my husband is right and I am wrong, I'm not sure why that is! The competitive nature inside of us for someone reason at one time or another strikes and we have the desire to be right.

2) Give up your need for control.
I need to post it note this throughout my entire house, car, my person! I see it in J, his need to control the things around him. At 3.5 (even younger) we start seeing our children's need to control things. Yes, this is a very important thing for them to learn and I want him to learn to control certain things around him but controlling too much leaves you unhappy and filled with anxiety.

3) Give up on blame. 
Yes, we all could do this from time to time. Stop pointing fingers. In the end is it worth it? Is it worth ruining a friendship or a relationship over? Forgive, forget and move on. Life is too short.

4) Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
Stay positive. Stay positive!!

5) Give up your limiting beliefs. 
I'm working on this. I lack the self confidence from time to time and I often times don't believe in myself. I'm a believer in, "if you fall you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again". I just need to remind myself of that more often!

6) Give up complaining. 
Yes. I will try.

7) Give up the luxury of criticism.
Pre-children I was a judger. I was one that thought I had the answers for everyone's parenting woes. Two children later and I have not a clue! I am more than willing to give some suggestions but I no longer judge what parents are doing. As I've posted before, I am constantly feeling a bit judged by people because J is a bit harder than other children. It seems as though people around us are so critical of our parenting rather commending us and telling us we are doing a great job. What parents need to hear is not what we should be doing but that what we are doing is a great job. It has been a goal for me to work on this. Stop judging, stop criticizing and understand.

8) Give up your need to impress others. 
Again, something I've learned since having children. I have found friends that accept me for my messy house, who still want to hang out with me even though I haven't showered in days and who don't care what kind of car we drive or the size of our house or if my kids clothes have stains on them. They accept me, us, for who we are. It's a pretty amazing feeling to get to this point!

9) Give up your resistance to change.
I like change but it can be scary. It can also be good.

10) Give up labels.
This is something I so badly want to teach my children. Don't label people. Learn about a person before you label them, there is always a bit of back history that we don't know about.

11) Give up on your fears.
Someday I will go back to school and become a lactation consultant. I will pass the boards and I will do what I know I'm meant to do. I will put my fears behind me and I will do this.

12) Give up your excuses. 
Raise of hands.. how many excuses have you come up with to not go to the gym? But once you're there you're glad you went and you start a routine in your life.

13) Give up the past.
Ohh this is hard. The past can haunt us at times. But they're right. Let it go and move forward. You can't change was has happened but you can change what lies ahead.

14) Give up attachment.
Let go of "things". This can be a difficult thing to overcome but once you do you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. The things don't create your happiness, it's the memories that do. By letting go of whatever item it is, you can still hold on to the memory. Go slow but try it. Slowly start purging things from your home or your life. You'll feel the weight slowly lift.

15) Give up living your life to other people's expectations.
Stop worrying so much about what others think and what others viewpoints are. It is your life, your happiness. Live your life for yourself.

I have found that as I slowly stop worrying so much about what other people think and start living my life for me, I am happy. Life moves fast. My children are growing so fast and I can't turn back the clock. I live for me, for my children, my family. I have this inherent trait where I worry about hurting others feelings. I often times put others before myself and I end up getting burned. I am a people pleaser, I feel bad if I hurt someone's feelings or if they are mad at me and I internalize what I've done wrong. I am trying to stop this. I am trying to accept that I can't change how people feel and I can't make someone like me. What I can do though, is live each day. Really live each day and count my blessings at the end. There are no certainties, no promises in life but there is plenty to be grateful for. Here I stand with so much love and happiness surrounding me. It's time to give up those things in our lives that bring us down. Give up the anxieties and stressors. Find your happiness in each day. Take a risk, a leap of faith and wherever it leads you, you will find your happiness. Here is mine.

Play ideas

I'm sure we have all been there. Days when it's rainy or it's the winter months or the kids are just bored and you are scrambling to try and figure out something to do. If your kids are anything like mine then they are completely content being outside but the second we step inside the whining starts and they follow me around. Why is that?!! I wanted to offer up some suggestions on things you can do with your little ones during those days! We get so in to our routine that sometimes I need to remind myself that what they need is a little change in their day. So here are some rainy day ideas!

*Water. Anything to do with water is sure to give them a half hour to an hour of enjoyment! Take a bath, fill the sink, fill a sensory bin with bubbles and water, or add food coloring. Kids love water!

*Sensory bins. Kids are so tactile. They learn through their senses. Full a bin with rice, beans, corn, sand along with a few cups and spoons and it's sure to bring some fun!

*Paint. Days when J is just really having a hard time and I can't get anything done I break out the paint. He will sit in the basement at his art table and paint with his cars. He loves it. For some reason this activity has always been very soothing for him.

*Build a fort. Kids LOVE forts! It becomes their special little hideout and they think they are so awesome! The bigger the better but even putting a sheet over the kitchen table becomes an instant fort!

*Bake. Scooping, mixing, tasting. It's sure to bring them some smiles!

*If you don't mind the messes we explore with whatever we can find in the cupboard. One of J's favorite activities is going to back to the good old baking soda and vinegar. Often times we will add food coloring to this as well. (Note: when I do this I always put a cookie sheet underneath. It catches the mess and doesn't end up all over the table). Sometimes we add cornstarch or flour and mixing food coloring in to a spray bottle is the best!

*Dance. Turn on the tunes and get your little ones, and yourself, moving. It amazes me how all of us start smiling when the music comes on and we let our guards down for a bit!

*Go out! If can that is. Even if it's raining a little bit try and put the rain boots on and a jacket and let them puddle jump. If it's cold out, bundle them up and let them spend 15 minutes in the fresh air. It's amazing how much a little fresh air can lighten everyone's spirit a bit.

I hope this list helps some and that on a day when you're having cabin fever you can pull an idea off this least and everyone will feel a bit more content. I know for me, when I'm in the moment it's hard to think of something to do! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and your Monday starts off nicely!

xo
Megs

My Happiness

Last year was a rough year. We had a lot of unexpected deaths that seemed to happen more frequently than anyone should experience. I felt as though each day I was living in fear of a phone call or something happening to my loved ones. We made it through 2011 but it was a tough year. Three months in to 2012 and this year has been happiness.

My children are thriving, the sun has started shining again and it's warming up. Laughter and smiles seem to surround us. The funk that we were in during the cold winter months have passed and we are spending all day outside. It feels so amazing. I have found a passion for photography that I never knew existed. As I snap photos of my kids it brings me such happiness capturing their pure innocence throughout the days. What a gift to be able to capture the smiles, the accomplishments, the new phases that they are in.

My sister and niece came for a weekend visit and the hustle and bustle that at times can be overwhelming has been a nice noise this weekend. The kids have been running around playing together, there has been such harmony and peacefulness in all of us this weekend. I have a feeling of inner peace and complete happiness. I am letting go of my anxiety and trying to embrace the happy moments that are around us. Instead of waiting for the bad to come, which is what I have done, I am relishing in the good that is. There are moments within my days that are challenging, tiring, owies that I need to kiss. But when I look back at these photos I realize how much happiness has filled our days. It's easy to focus on the hard moments and to go to bed feeling exhausted. I am exhausted but I am choosing to focus on the good, the laughter and smiles, the positives within our days. I can't control what "could" happen and there is no good worrying, but what I can control is my own happiness. My children, my husband, my family, the sun; all of these things bring me eternal happiness. Take a moment within your days and reflect back on your happiness. Let go of the things you can not control and open your arms to the things you can. Happy Sunday to all of you!
-Megs

{My niece and her gorgeous eyes, taking in the sounds of the great outdoors}

{J and Ad enjoying some time together}

{My sweet baby girl, looking just that.. sweet!}

{Eme is digging for bugs!}

{J figured out how to climb the fence and get on top of his play house. Look at how proud he is!!}

{My sister and I having a moment together. She is teaching me about photography. I snapped this photo of her and absolutely love how she looks holding the camera}

 {Z and J were cutting the grass together, Eme was playing in the sandbox, and I caught my sister  in action.  I had that calm peaceful feeling in this moment!}

{A warm embrace between cousins}

To B.O. or not to B.O: The update

Update
I've had a lot of questions about making the deodorant, what should it look like, how much does it make, will it stain your clothes, does it really work.  I've used it while training for an 8K and had no problems with it.  I've also included some pictures so you will hopefully be able to get a better idea of what it should look like.  And remember, it's not an exact science, you can add more or less of each ingredient depending on your needs.  Good luck and let us know how it's working for you!  Oh, and no, neither Megs or I have found it stains our clothes.  ~Jess   

   

I started making my own deodorant almost a year ago.  I was tired of buying stuff that's not healthy for me and didn't like putting chemicals on my skin that's meant to block my pores.  I also didn't want to be putting it on my body so close to my breasts.  I decided to give it a go and make my own. 

I was skeptical, and trying it for the first time in the spring when it was starting to get warm was a bit gutsy.  But it worked amazing.  I love it.  I will never go back.  And it's so easy.  I mean ridiculously easy.  3 ingredients and you're done.  Corn starch-that absorbs moisture, baking soda takes care of odor, and coconut oil is a natural antibacteral/anti-fungal.

I made some for a friend and she threw out her store bought deodorant the next day and then made some for her sister to try (who threw out her store bought deodorant too).  I have another friend who made it for her husband who "sweats like a man" and he loves it.  No problem with b.o. sneaking through during the day or night.  This stuff rocks!   

Here's the how-to on making your own deodorant:

1.Mix equal parts cornstarch and baking soda in a bowl (I use a tablespoon of each)

2.Add a few drops of essential oils to the powder (I like lavendar and lemon, either mixed 
together or alone but you can try any kind, be creative).

3.Then I mash in coconut oil using a fork.  I mix this until it's the consistancy of frosting.  

That's it!  It's so easy.  And you don't have to have your measurements exact either, just roughly guess how much.  A batch that lasts about a month which is nice because I like to change flavors, last month I mixed lavender, lemon, and vanilla, oh yum!  It smells wonderful!

Finished! I store it in a small container I found at the dollar store.

You can put it in an old deodorant bottle, but you may need to store it in the fridge when it starts to get warm (coconut oil is liquid at around 72 degrees) or you can put it in a small container and apply it with your fingers.  I do this now but I won't lie, it had me freaked out when I first read about it.  I thought it was so gross but it's really not.  Give it a try, even for a day or week.  And let me know what you think.  I bet you'll be surprised!

-Jo

Finding the balance between the good and the ugly

The picture I have on my desk to remind me of the innocence and simplicity in the world.

I struggle every day trying to keep work out of my personal life.  But I can't.  For over 8 years I've worked in television news as a photojournalist.  I try not to bring work home with me, but after seeing video of a little girl who's (allegedly) been starved and tortured by her family or a man who was so desperate to escape the pain the only way he knew how was to take his own life, I'm feeling beaten down.  I'm sad, heartbroken, I ache for these people.  I look at my beautiful daughter and fear the day she will learn this horribleness exists in the world.

I was in an extra foul mood when I came home for dinner tonight.  Husband had put Bug to bed and I was feeling bitter at the world.  No, I was just pissed off.  Usually all I need is to vent and I'm done but the last couple of weeks have really started to take it's toll on me.  Last week alone two men in their early 20s drown and a 14 year old girl took her own life.  I couldn't take it.  I broke down and sobbed.  Seeing the picture of that little girl, that's all she was, just a little girl, put me over.  There is so much pain, sadness, and hate in the world and I see so much of it on a daily basis.  Lately there's been more of the bad than good, and that makes it hard to focus on the good.

What I have to do is let it go.  As soon as I walk through the front door, it's gone.  I read this quote somewhere, "Please be responsible for the energy you bring through this door," and I can't agree more.   I cannot carry that negative energy with me.  When I leave work, I leave work.  I focus on the beauty in front of me and how her laughter makes me laugh.  She lifts me up, she helps me to forget, to let go, to focus on the positive and all I have.  She reminds me the little things are important and do matter and the simple things in life are just that, simple.  Not complicated, just simple.  But most of all, what my 2 year old daughter teaches me on a daily basis is love and forgiveness.  A lesson the rest of the world could probably use.     

When Bug says, "mommy no work today," I love it when I get to say, "okay."

What do you struggle with as a parent, working or not?  How do you cope with your struggles?  Do you feel like you're the only one out there with those struggles, fears and worries?

~Jess

It's Monday, my favorite day!

The sign welcoming us to playgroup

I seriously love Mondays.  Bug and I look forward to going to our next Waldorf playgroup from the moment we leave.  Today was no exception. 

We arrived late because Bug slept in (no complaints here!) and we were able to play outside for a few minutes before it was time to go in.  It was hard for Bug because she 1) loves to be outside and 2) it had rained this morning which means lots of mud and puddles!  We bought rain pants just for this reason.

When we got inside the children played so well together while the parents sat at the table and started wet felting our books.  A dad was visiting and he learned how to finger knit and worked on that.  There was such wonderful harmony in the room today, there always is, but today was especially good.  There were children playing under the table together while the parents worked, kids playing in the kitchen, with dolls and the wooden barn.  The wool balls came out, as did the wood stacking blocks, and puzzles.  The room was very loved today and there was such joy in the air.  The parents talked about everything, from our children's sleeping habits to where we buy our kids clothes.  The playgroup leader buzzed happily around the room humming sweet songs while interacting with the children, preparing our snack (today it was hot cereal, so good!), and checked in on our felting. 



My felt book, after it's been felted.



It was a beautiful day, full of harmony and happiness.  As Waldorf Monday usually does, it rolled over into the rest of our day.  Calm and peaceful.  Already I'm looking forward to next Monday. 

Before we left, Bug played outside in the mud pit, enjoying the warm Wisconsin day. 
-Jo


Playing in one of the 2 mud pits



Pushing the wheelbarrow on top of the mud hill



The 3rd graders built this for all the children to play in. How awesome is that?!



The book of Jabes

I have joked with a girlfriend of mine on a few occasions that if only there was a book of J, my life would be so much easier. Today was one of those days where I wished I could have pulled out my "J handbook" and read how to handle him. Problem is, I really do wish there was one of these books. I have read so many books on ways to handle my boy. "The Strong-willed Child", Dr. Sears Discipline books, I'm working on Elizabeth Pantley's book right now, the list continues. I have read and read and read, and continue to read. I take bits and pieces of each book and apply it to our days and then I move on to another book. My little man is a tough cookie to understand,  here is my shortened "Jabes book". 

He is intense. On every level, he is intense. When he is happy, he is beaming. When he is sad, the tears flow like the Nile. When he is mad, he is kicking and screaming and you know he's mad. I remember his second Christmas when he was 15 months. He opened a gift from his Nama and Bumpa. It was a tricycle and his whole body did this convulsion of excitement while he let out a little scream. Looking back, the intensity was there even at a young age I just didn't recognize it then. That excited "shake" was something we often saw with him, it was pretty darn cute! His intensity transfers to his daily schedule. If he is playing with his cars he is completely engrossed in his activity and doesn't want anyone near him while he plays. If he does invite you to play there are rules in which you can drive your car (something we continue to work on). This morning while we were making cornbread Eme was helping. J would pour two scoops of something and then Eme would do one. He literally had to fight every urge in his body not to take the measuring cup out of her hand and pour it himself. I had to remind him a couple of times that it was Eme's turn to pour and he could do it next. I have had people comment on how he is always in everyone's business. He is right there wanting to grab things from others. My dad once put it perfectly for me as I was struggling with him. He said, "J so badly wants to please those around him that he always wants to help in some way. It comes across as being in everyone's business but his intentions behind it are so good and genuine." He's right. Dad if you're reading, thank you for this, I remind myself of it often. He always wants to be helping and doing. 

Strong willed is an understatement! It took me a really long time to realize that yes my J definitely has a spirit about him! I'm sure this goes hand in hand with the intensity. He has in his head what he wants to do when he wants to do it. He has plans that the rest of us are not aware of. The other day we had a battle for over an hour about a band aid. Yes, you read this right, a band aid. He wanted the band aid that was on my finger. I stood a firm no on this and offered him other band aids in the house (this particular band aid we got at someone else's house and I just didn't have the same "favorite" band aid as he said). I cut my finger and there was blood on this band aid as well as an anti bacterial ointment, I didn't want to germ share this one. In the end he finally calmed down and moved on to something else. In the moment though, wow. 

Along with being spirited he is quite persistent. I know that on many occasions I have caved purely because it's just easier. I also know that this is not the best thing to do! Later in life my persistent teenager will persist until I finally give in. I try and pick and choose what are important battles and what are not. 

 

More. Jabes needs more of everything. More sleep, more attention, more boundaries, better food, more positive feedback. He just needs more. His intensity requires us to give him so much more. I'm sure many are reading this thinking this sounds exhausting or stop giving in to him or possibly that we are too lax on things. The thing is, when you don't have a child that tests you daily on things that seem so petty, it really is hard to imagine it. It's easier to say, just don't give in or be more firm. Maybe there are some of reading this that are so grateful to hear another mom that does battles like this. When you feel like you have done everything and you are at a breaking point it's nice to hear you're not alone. I know I'm not the only mama out there that has a child that tests me to the core. I know there are other moms who question if what they're doing is right, other moms that have lost their cool and yelled and then felt horrible guilty. When you don't have a child like this it's so much easier to be on the advice giving side. Bottom line, what I think my boy needs is more hugs, more kisses from us, more positive energy and feedback for him. He thrives when he appeases us and when his attention basket full. If his needs aren't being met then he acts out and looks for attention in different ways, i.e.-hitting his sister (which has happened many times today). 

Someone once told me, parenting is hard and you can't give up. I agree. Parenting is extremely hard, the hardest thing I've ever done. And no, you don't give up. But there are days, lots of days, where I feel completely defeated. Where I feel as though I have no energy left and where I just cry. Days where I think everyone is judging us as parents and where I feel as though everyone around us thinks they have the answers for our Jabes. I'm writing this because I've had a day. A day where I lost my cool and a day where I feel defeated. I drove in the car with tears streaming down my face asking myself what we are doing wrong. Looking up and asking the man upstairs to give me a break. A day where I count the minutes until my hubby gets home. In the end, love conquers all. I look at my intense, spirited, persistent, sensitive J and I am thankful that he is mine. Behind all of those labels I see a boy who smiles and loves so deeply. I see a boy who will be a loyal friend (thanks sis). I see his beautiful, loving, nurturing soul shine when he is outside in his element. I see an amazing big brother who will protect Eme and pick her up when she needs him. He has taught me so much about this world we live in. As I looked up and I asked "why?" I remembered that he was given to Z and me. There is a reason that he is ours and that we are his parents. If I didn't have him I think I would be on the other side, perhaps thinking I had all the parenting answers. Instead, here I sit. He has humbled us in so many ways. He has shown us that what children really need is love. He has been our answer to so many questions in our life. Our J, what a gift he is. 

Days can be hard. We do the best we can and some days that just means getting through the day. Remind yourself though, that there is a reason you have the one(s) you have. You can handle what lies ahead with your little one and you will know what they need. There is no handbook. Your love and dedication to your child is what makes you move forward. A deep inhale and a big exhale, I'm ready now. 

Clothespin Airplanes Craft

I love Pinterest.  If you're not on, go.  Well, as soon as you're done here.  I love all the ideas and suggestions, you could redo everything in your life simply from doing searches.  I'm well on my way to building my dream home, amazing craft room {with crafts to go with it}, the most fabulous meals ever, and lets not forget those breathtaking vacation ideas {let me know if you need an invitation-to Pinterest, not my vacation- I'll get one to you right away, I understand the emergency of the situation}.

 

Bug's clothespin art

Now, onto one of my finds.  Bug and I made these the other day and they were so easy and fun.  I found a similar one on Pinterest, but I can't find it again.  {My apologies to the original pinner for not listing you as my source.  If you find me, please let me know!}  These were so easy and fun.  I hot glued 2 small popsicle sticks to the top of a clothespin for the wings {you could use 1 big one, I just didn't have any} and one on the back where you pinch it to open it for the tail.  I cut a foam circle out and glued that on to the top of the tail.  Then Bug had at it with the paint.  She only did one but had fun doing it.  The best part, I just hung them up to dry! 



The animals that are hanging from them are paintings Bug had done and I cut animal shapes out and laminated them.  A nice way to save her artwork without all the paper.  -Jess 



They do more than just hang artwork, they're fun to play with too!



To B.O or not to B.O.

I started making my own deodorant almost a year ago.  I was tired of buying stuff that's not healthy for me and didn't like putting chemicals on my skin that's meant to block my pores.  I also didn't want to be putting it on my body so near my breasts.  So I decided to give it a go and make my own. 

I was skeptical, and trying it for the first time in the spring when it was starting to get warm was a bit gutsy.  But it worked amazing.  I love it.  I will never go back.  And it's so easy.  I mean ridiculously easy.  3 ingredients and you're done.  Corn starch-that absorbs moisture, baking soda takes care of odor, and coconut oil is a natural antibacteral/anti-fungal.

I made some for a friend and she threw out her store bought deodorant the next day and made some for her sister to try (who threw out her store bought deodorant too).  I have another friend who made it for her husband who "sweats like a man" and he loves it.  No problem with b.o. sneaking through during the day or night.  This stuff rocks!   

Here's the how-to on making your own deodorant:

1.Mix equal parts cornstarch and baking soda in a bowl (I use a tablespoon of each)
2.Add a few drops of essential oils to the powder (I like lavendar and lemon, either mixed together or alone but you can try any kind, be creative).
3.Then I mash in coconut oil using a fork.  I mix this until it's the consistancy of frosting. 

That's it!  It's so easy.  And you don't have to have your measurements exact either, just roughly guess how much.  A batch that lasts about a month which is nice because I like to change flavors, last month I mixed lavendar, lemon, and vanilla, oh yum!  It smelled wonderful!

You can put it in an old deodorant bottle, but you may need to store it in the fridge when it starts to get warm (coconut oil is liquid at around 72 degrees) or you can put it in a small container and apply it with your fingers.  I do this now but I won't lie, it had me freaked out when I first read about it.  I thought it was so gross but it's really not.  Give it a try, even for a day or week.  And let me know what you think.  I bet you'll be surprised!

-Jo

Say no to moo

J has been complaining of headaches for the past month or so. It's not every day but I would say at least a few times a week. We have tried staying on top of his water intake, making sure his blood pressure doesn't dip, if he's over tired, etc. A few weeks ago when my mom was in town he had the start of a cold. Goopy nose and again a headache. He started in with this strange "yawning" motion. It went on repeatedly throughout the day. Not sure what was going on I placed a call to the Dr. Their recommendation was an MRI. Z and I talked, no way, not right now. He would have to be sedated and knowing our little one, any little one for that matter, this would surely be somewhat traumatizing. We took the wait and monitor him approach. The next day, his yawning thing was gone.

Fast forward to current. Here we are a few weeks later and he has another cold (both kids actually) and his "yawning" motion has come back. We had a very busy weekend filled with no naps, too much stimuli, not eating great, and way lack of sleep. Yesterday was awful. Complaints of headaches, yucky nose, throwing up and bedtime at 6pm. Here I sit typing this and trying to make sense in my head of what is going on with my little man. I'm hesitant to call the Dr. again. They have given me their recommendation but Z and I are just not feeling that's where we should go as of yet. So I've started a daily log. Keeping track of the food he's eating, the rest he's getting, how his behavior has been, any abnormal changes throughout the day and making sure he's having adequate amounts of water. Our newest change we plan to implement, no dairy. We already try and limit processed foods, no high fructose corn syrup, limit the sweets and eat mostly organic food. We will start with the dairy and see if there are any changes and then possibly move on to gluten free. I have a friend who is a chiropractor and will get him adjusted at some point as well.

It's amazing the changes you make in your life for your little ones. The amount of research I have been doing on this, thinking of every possible cause of these headaches and making any change that may be necessary. Our primary goal as parents is to protect our children, to keep them safe. Every decision we make, we make thinking of our children and the direct impact it may have on them. Z and I know that we don't want this MRI to happen unless it something that is completely necessary. No way do we want to put J through that if we don't have to. Today is day one of no dairy. I'm already looking ahead and problem solving how we will make this work. Saturday we have a birthday party. How can I tell J, sorry no cake for you, so instead I will make a pan of dairy free cupcakes and bring them for him so he can also feel included. This will be tough on all of us, a life change that I am hopeful all of us may benefit from. After all, do we really need so much moo in our diets? Today is the day we say no to moo!

Have any of you readers cut out a food and seen an improvement in you or your child's health? I'm in need of encouraging words through this change.

XO

When safe isn't safe enough

Today at Target, Bug fell out of the cart and hit her head on the floor.  She's ok, scared and has a small bump, but thankfully ok.  She was sitting in the molded part of the kid friendly cart and was buckled in.  The buckle gave way when she leaned over the back. 

I am livid.  Not at her but at Target.  It has always been our rule that when you're in a cart, you wear the seat belt for safety.  It only takes seeing one kid fall out of a cart and hearing the horrific noise their head makes when they hit the ground (years ago when I was in college), to make sure your child always has it on.

I have run into numerous problems with the seat belts at Target, and other stores for that matter, where they are broken to the point they could cut a child, don't have any clasp on them to buckle, or seemingly latch but leave you with a bit of doubt because you're not totally sure you heard it click.  This is what happened today.  I latched the buckle and wasn't positive it was secure so I tried to pulled it apart to make sure it didn't unlatch, which it didn't. 

It happened at the check out lanes when I walked around to the front of the cart to unload it.  She leaned over the back of the cart and that's when the buckle gave way, sending her head first into the ground.  I rushed to her and sat on the floor of the checkout lane hugging my sweet little girl while the cashier proceeded to walk around me to unload my cart and continue to ring me up (how nice) without even acknowledging me or my daughter.  When I finally had Bug calmed down enough and was able to check her head, I was able to pay.  Again, no acknowledgement of what happened.  But Bug got a sticker.  When I finished paying I asked to speak to a manager.  He came over and I explained what happened and how I was upset that Target doesn't do more to ensure their carts are safe for their guests.  The only thing he said to me was he would be sure to pass this along to the right people to have it addressed.  While he didn't do anything wrong, I certainly think it could have been handled with more compassion.  It was like I was talking to a wall.  He showed no emotion and never asked if Bug was alright or if we needed medical treatment (I wasn't looking for any of this but it would have been nice to know that he cared--or at least pretended to). 

How is it that a company that makes millions of dollars and is anal about safety, can miss one of the biggest safety issues in their own store?  I was playing by the rules.  I was being safe.  I buckled Bug into the cart, made sure the straps were tight and she still fell out?  This is about a company providing a false sense of security.  Giving parents the illusion they are doing the safe and correct thing when in truth it's no different than doing nothing at all. 

I will be following up with the store to see if anything has been done and taking this as far as I need to.  Have you ever experienced anything like that? Know anyone who has?  Do you think this is the customers issue or should the store be held accountable?  At what point is being safe just not safe enough?   I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

-Jo