TOYS! I loved this section. One quote from this sections says, "The pile needs to be halved, and halved again, and perhaps again. The first removed half will probably be discarded, the second removed half will probably be both discards and some toys to be stored, and the third halving will you your keepers". I can't tell you how many times I have gone through J's cars/trucks. I just did it again the other day. Dwindling through them on a pretty regular basis yet I still have an entire big tote full of his "big" cars/trucks and there are still little matchbox cars everywhere in our house. When he gets a new car he plays with it for a few days and then the joy wears off. The stuff he got for Christmas that he couldn't live without, has already accrued dust. That says a lot right there. Another quote, "We buy toys with a degree of compulsiveness that children pick up on. What does it say to them? As the mountain of toys in their room grows, it also speaks". I believe that it loses meaning. J often times expects to get things from people. He comes across as very spoiled (which he sort of is) at times and I don't like it. I am guilty of buying too much. It makes me smile watching him play with a "new" toy (don't worry Payne touches on this subject as well) but as he gets older I realize that the more he receives the less excited he gets.
10-Point Checklist of Toys Without "Staying Power":
1) Broken toys
2) Developmentally inappropriate toys
3) Conceptually "fixed" toys
4) Toys that "do too much" and break too easily
5) Very high-stimulating toys
6) Annoying or offensive toys
7) Toys that claim to give your child a developmental edge
8) Toys you are pressured to buy
9) Toys that inspire corrosive play
10) Toy multiples
Each one of these is broken down more in depth in this chapter but at least this gives an overview of what is touched on.
Another section is 'Organizing What Remains'. He states that "ideally, you want a small number of beloved toys at hand and visible at any given time". I know that in my house J's beloved toys are his cars and trucks as well as his animals. That has been his favorite things for the past couple of years. No matter how hard I've tried to shift his play on to something else he always goes back to those toys. I've accepted the fact that there is nothing wrong with him because he fixates mostly on his cars, it's what interests him right now. Payne goes on to talk about 'Simplified Play'. "Kids don't need many toys to play, or any particular one. What they need most of all is unstructured time". Within this section he talks about the need for touch. Children learn through touch. Some toys he states that aid in this are "rattles, nesting cubes, cloth dolls for babies, silks and scarves, heavy woolen blankets and cloaks, the pliancy of beeswax and clay as they warm to touch, a basket of smooth pebbles that change color when wet, solid wooden blocks and shapes, gnarled roots and stick, beanbags". Having your child assist you in the kitchen can be a great sensory tool.
Pretending and imaginary play were also touched on. This section was interesting to me because J doesn't seem to do a lot of imaginary play. I have begun to see it more and more but I am excited for us to start this Waldorf parent-tot class in March and see how it inspires him to play more imaginatively.
Nature. Oh how I loved this. J thrives in nature (My sweet Eme lu who is afraid of any plant life and tonight showed us she was afraid of a pine cone, may not do so well on our camping adventures!). J really is in his element when he is outside. So peaceful, happy, calm. It's my favorite time to sit back and observe him. Payne's opening quote from this part is "nature is the perfect antidote to the sometimes poisonous pressures of modern life". Powerful I think. A favorite line, "...a glimpse of what is still "ungoogeable..". I love that. When in nature we are removed from the fast pace, high tech world we live in. I secretly dream of living somewhere with no cell phone on a self sustaining farm with all my people around! A dream I know, but it sounds sort of heavenly doesn't it?
Today I moved the kids little play kitchen upstairs by the real kitchen. I have tried really hard to keep most toys downstairs to minimize the clutter moving all over the house. What I noticed was that wherever I was they were too. So if I was upstairs cooking dinner, they were right there under my feet all the time. It's something that has driven me nuts with Mr, Man. He is always right there in the mix wanting to be by me. Payne put it in perspective for me. He says, "Infants thrive on closeness; they're most soothed and happy in some form of warm embrace. Toddlers want to play- even if they're playing alone- where they can see and be near others. You've noticed their preference for right under your feet".
Movement, art and music were all something he spoke of as well. All of which are very important to the developing child. Something I found strange was his discussion on books. "Books are often the second major form of excess, given that books are viewed in same light as toys". I have a serious emotional attachment to books. It's really hard for me to part from them but I did. I think I donated somewhere close to 100-150 books. A lot of which were new and hardly used but I had to rid our house of some of this clutter, even though it was extremely hard and I STILL have some remorse from this purge! I never would have thought of books as "clutter", rather a learning tool. But, as usual Payne teaches me why. As you read this part you might also be surprised!
How many of you have lots of clothes for your children? My kids receive clothes as gifts from people all the time plus I am so fortunate to receive all my niece's clothes for Eme. I am sort of a garage sale junkie when it comes to clothes. It becomes an addiction for me when I find a good deal, I mean like the fifty cent kind of deal on good quality clothes. Needless to say, my kiddos have mounds of clothes. Another mountain tackled in the past couple of weeks. They still have too many but I have freed up drawers and have bags upon bags of clothes to donate. Here's what Payne says about clothes. "The clothes in your child's wardrobe or bureau should fit now", "your little one's clothes don't have to make a "statement" beyond the obvious ones: "I'm dressed and ready for school" or "I'm comfortable and ready to play", "Variety and style are usually much more important to parents than to preadolescent kids", "By limiting choices in the early years you give children the time and freedom to develop an inner voice"
This was a LONG chapter, but a highly informative one. Even writing this now has reminded of so many things I want to implement in our home. I leave you with Payne's closing "imagine" as well as this final quote.
"We can be the stewards of our child's home environment, setting limits and saying no to too many choices, too much stuff".
Imagine your child's room...
- uncluttered, and restful to the senses.
- with soft light and colors, and a sense of order and space.
- with room to move and play, to draw and build.
- without toys that are broken, forgotten, or heaped in piles.
- with a few of his or her most beloved toys in sight and the rest in one or two baskets on the floor, covered with cloth.
- with a place for a handful of books, while others are stored, ready to be cycled in once these are thoroughly read and enjoyed.
- as a peaceful and secure place for sleep, with the natural scents of home and minimal or no night lighting.
Imagine..
- watching your children create new worlds and new ways to play with their toys, instead of requiring new toys to play with.
- opening your child's bureau or closet and seeing space around a few clothes that fit her and the current season.
- your children's own real tools and their happy sense of purpose as they work and play at cooking, cleaning, and gardening.
- your child being able to live deeply and repeatedly in the "now" of a story or his or her play, rather than always eyeing what's next.
Chapter four brings us Rhythm and I am very excited about this chapter. It's something I've been searching for in my home. Are you inspired yet?
XO
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