The wave of emotions that consume you when your love is born. It completely rocks your world.
Our little 6 pound 10 ounce sweetie all cocooned up.
Nearing a year...
I remember the day we found out I was pregnant with her. Z was not convinced after a few tests that this was true (it happened far quicker with her than it did with J), so me being the stubborn one I am said "fine I'm going to the pharmacy and getting a digital one, that way you can't argue it!". Sure enough it said pregnant in clear letters. No arguing.
Her pregnancy was a long ride, filled with lots of anxieties. Early on I had spotting and an ultrasound could only detect a fetal pole. It was the longest two week wait for the next appt. The follow up showed us a beautiful beating heart. Our decision to go to the birth center was the best decision we could have made. J's delivery was terrible and it left me with some huge scars to try and heal. The birth center was empathetic to my fears and worked with me in every way possible to overcome my fears and have trust in the natural childbirth process. They were gentle, loving, responsive, non-judgmental, and genuinely care about each family that enters.
Many ultrasounds, many infections, my fundal height measuring small, a low weight gain and through all of this our baby girl remained constantly strong. Her heartbeat was always great, ultrasounds showed her growing, and there were never any complications. She was perfect.
Once we found out it was in fact a girl we decided her name would be Charlotte Lucille and call her Charley. And then came the indecisive part of me and then the googling of names! Charley wasn't off the table but we just weren't sure it was our baby's name. In October 2010 when I was 35 weeks pregnant we received a call that my grandpa passed away. It hit my family hard. Anyone who knew my Grandpa knows what a wonderful and caring man he was. There wasn't an ounce of mean in him. His smile always melted my heart and how much he loved his family is something I hope I can show to my own. I knew our little girl somehow needed to have some of her great grandpa's kind spirit in her. We learned that his middle name was Emil. It didn't take much convincing for Z. We toyed with Emilia. We toyed with her middle name being Emil and instead of Charley doing Lucille as her first name. And then we brought back a name we had on our list a while back, Emelyn. It was perfect. We would blend my grandpa's middle name with my mom's middle name (Emil-Lynn ) and the two of them would forever be united forming the name for our beautiful daughter. Her first name couple with her middle name, Lucille, named after my Grandma who also holds such a special place in my heart, made her quite the special little girl even before she was born.
5 weeks later on her due date Emelyn arrived peacefully in the water. It was such a beautiful experience this time around. I was surrounded by my favorite people. The midwives who were there are two women who I will forever be grateful for. My grandpa was watching over me and had given these women to me in a time of need. They made this experience what it was. They helped me to find the confidence I needed to birth our baby girl. They were there to laugh with me, cry with me, push me when I needed it and to really be my advocates. And my handsome husband. I couldn't have done this without him. He never left my side. He touched me when I needed it, gave me gentle kisses and kind words, this time around he knew what I needed. I love you Zach. My mother in law was by my side as well. She also experienced J's birth but after touring the birth center she knew that I would be well cared for and I don't think for a moment she questioned anything. The only person missing was my mom. She was flying in from IN the next day. Even though she wasn't physically there she was still a part of this process. She was the one who I called in the middle of the night while I was contracting. She was the first person my MIL called when Eme was born. She was still a part of this.
I remember when I was pregnant wondering how I could possibly love another child as much as I did J. People would tell me your love divides. I don't think you can believe that until you experience it. The second she was born, at 11:25am, I fell in love again. Those maternal feelings overwhelmed me just as much as they did when J was born. You DO love your children all the same and your love truthfully does divide.
One year later, here we are. Jameson is 3 and Emelyn is 1. Eme, you have taught me so much. You are such a beautiful little girl. You definitely have your Grandpa's kind spirit and he is proud looking down at you. You have my feistyness and your dad's calm demeanor. You are more serious than your brother was as a baby but when no one is around your goofiness comes out and you are such a little clown. Your pretty blonde hair and your sparkling hazel eyes, from your dad, make us smile each day. You make us laugh even at 3:30am when you think it's a good time to wake up for the day. You and your brother keep us going each day.
So today I'm wishing my baby girl the happiest birth-day wishes. We love you Emelyn Lucille.
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