Buddies

J and Lulu have become quite the buds lately. It cute watching them engage together. Here's a few recent photos of them together as well as a couple solo! Happy New Year!
XO

"Mommy No Work Today"

I am lucky enough to stay at home during the day with Bug and when Husband gets home in the afternoon, we have about 45 minutes of family time before I leave for work.  We've been doing it for almost 2 years and it's been working out pretty well.  He works during the day while I'm with Bug and then I work during the evening and he's with her.  It's a nice way to have duel incomes and not have daycare expenses.  I won't lie though, it is hard, we're essentially both single parents and we have very little family time together-let alone us time.  He's asleep when I get home from work, so the only time we have together is on my dinner break during the week and the one day a week we both have off together.  It's hard to have a relationship when you hardly see each other.

This week has been especially hard.  I've had to skip my dinner break and stay late every day and I'm also working 2 extra days {I normally work part time 4 days a week}.  Bug is picking up on it, the first thing she says to me every morning is "Mommy no work today," with such hope in her eyes.  When I tell her that I have to work, her head and face drop and she usually says in a sad voice, almost to herself, "no mommy work."  The first couple of days I could handle it, but now it breaks my heart.  She usually tells me at some point throughout the day that she don't want me to work.  Tonight when I was asked to work on my days off, I felt like I was stabbed in the gut with the idea of having to tell her yet again, that yes, mommy has to work tonight.

I try to make the best of it, and usually I can, but it's times like these when I'm already feeling bad, exhausted, and emotionally worn, that it's hard to be "on" as a mom.  We don't have any family close that I can call upon to help {especially in a crunch or when I'm having a day and need a break} which adds that much more stress of doing it alone.  I don't have any time for me.  I mean literally, the only time I have for me is when I'm done with work, usually around 11:30 at night.  By then I'm so exhausted all I can think about is bed.  With Bugs' middle of the night awakenings and early risings, I'm not getting anywhere near enough sleep.  And every day the cycle repeats itself, the only difference is I'm a little more tired and a little more worn down.  

I know this too will pass {I've been hearing that a lot these days, frankly it's getting a little annoying} but right now the world is feeling pretty big.  And all I want to do is wrap my arms around Bug and let her know everything will be alright. 

SP Chapter 2, Soul Fever

I just finished up Chapter two of my beloved book. I didn't have nearly as many yellow marks in this chapter as in Chapter one but it was still good. Chapter two was all about the Soul Fever. Payne talks about how we treat a physical fever in our child a certain way we should also treat a soul fever in that same manner. He discusses how when our children are "out of sorts" and don't seem to be themselves; more tantrums, withdrawing from us, acting out, etc. this is a time when we need to pull them closer to us and cling on to them! He relates being overwhelmed to a soul fever. Here is a quote in the first couple of pages from him, "When they are being rushed along by too much stuff, speed, stress, or when they have what I think of as an emotional or "soul fever".  When referencing how we should treat a soul fever this is what he says, "we treat an emotional fever in much the same way we do a physical fever: by drawing the child close and suspending their normal routines".

DOGS

Now I know that most people who have dogs call their dogs part of their family and their beloved four legged friends, that however, is not the case in our house. We have two mutts. Oslo, a min pin is 6 and Bella, a puggle is 4. Oslo is just a feisty little dude who has little man syndrome. He barks and barks and isn't super sweet with other people. He does really love me though, I mean he was my baby for many years prior to kids. Bella is a gentle, sweet girl. She is so good with anyone including kids. Man is that dog naughty though.

It has now become almost a game to see what my dogs have eaten while we were away. How they manage to get the things they do is beyond me. We have resorted to taking the garbage outside or put it up on the counter while we leave. The chairs to our kitchen table have to be pushed in at all times otherwise you will see a pooch on the table indulging in whatever may be up there.

Yesterday on our drive home I remembered that I left the full trash can down. Shoot! We got home and to my surprise trash wasn't sprawled all over the floor. I thought, yay they were good while we were gone. That was until I heard j say, "uh they ate my gingerbread house"! Sure enough, all of it except for part of the white paper that it was iced to was gone.

You might be wondering how they are still standing and with no major illnesses, I'm not sure. Here's a list of other things my dogs have devoured..

-a pound of butter
-loaves of bread
-how could I forget the bag of brown sugar
-pirates booty
-countless bars
- emes dirty diapers
-an entire bag of chocolate brownies and cookies
-a bag of raisins


The list goes on. My dogs have stomachs of steel. You never know what today has in store while we are gone! A look at the mangy mutts!

Twenty twelve goals

Resolutions seem to set ourselves up for failure, in my opinion. I always set them and never seem to go the entire year keeping up with them. So this year I plan to set goals. I have quite a few but that I'm hopeful I can say I stuck to at least a couple! Being a sahm leaves us with only one income and I need to be better about budgeting and being thrifty.

Here are my top five goals for twenty twelve!

1) can I go an entire year buying the kids clothes at second hand stores or garage sales? We'll see!

2) to be more positive! What's that old saying.. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade! I'm going to try at least :)

3) find our rhythm in our home. I am continually reading about rhythm and how important it is in a family's home, yet I don't think we've quite found ours yet. I'm hoping 2012 will bring our rhythm!

4) SIMPLIFY!!!! This has to be one of my biggest goals for this year! Our house is by no means big but it also isn't small. It is perfect for the four of us and even a fifth if we decided so ;) Yet it is continually crammed packed with stuff. Each room is full of stuff, every closet, every drawer. How can I get rid of some of this and simplify? I have a feeling it will make our house seem bigger once we do!

5) be kind to myself. Take care of myself and do some things for me. Whether that means running a 5k or sewing more often or reading. Whatever it is, I need to be kind to myself and not beat myself up when I make a parenting mistake. We are human after all.

What are your 2012 goals? I'm curious to hear!
XO

Rainbow Sensory Bin

Bug saw the rice and noodle sensory bins on the deck the other day and begged to play with them.  It was too cold to do anything outside, so I put a plastic tablecloth on the floor and let her have at it.  I simply opened the bins up and let her explore with them.  I made these this summer but they've been tucked away on the deck for several months, so it was like a whole new experience.  There were ice cube molds, dump trucks, egg cartons, jars with lids and other toys in there for her to explore with. 

She played for a hour and a half straight.  I left her alone to do what she wanted, guiding her back onto the tablecloth when she moved to the carpet, but didn't tell her what to do or how to do it.  With the exception of the music playing quietly in the background, it was really quiet.  She was focused in her play in a way I've never seen.  It was beautiful to watch.  I tried to use the time to tidy up, but I couldn't stop watching her.  She would ask me to join her in play and I of course did.  It was a perfect bonding moment.  Later that night I saw a quote from Family Focus Movement {a favorite on Facebook} and I had to smile, thinking back on our day: 

When your child says "Can you play with me?" what the child is really saying is "Can you be with me?"  Parents need to recognize the inner voice of your child so that you can meet the needs of your child.

-Family Focus Movement, Facebook

Our days get busy and too much is crammed into them, this was a perfect reminder that we need to slow down and be in the moment. 



Putting rice between her toes



Pouring into her kitchen pot

Wondering how it feels down her shirt



Elmo had to get in



How to color the noodles:

It's pretty easy and cheap to color the noodles and rice.  I bought a 5 lb bag of generic rice and a couple boxes of macaroni noodles.  I filled a large ziplock bag 1/3 full of noodles and added a few drops of food coloring in and shook away.  {Some Internet sites will tell you to add vinegar or rubbing alcohol, I'm not sure why they say to do this.  I didn't and it turned out just fine.}  I poured them into a large, low sided bin and stuck them on the deck to try in the sun.  They were dry within an hour.   

-JO

Strike a pose!

My dear Grandma (Gigi as our kids call her) came over the other day to help me do some cleaning for our Christmas get together today. Somehow we got on the topic of Xmas cards and she still hadn't gotten all hers out. She expressed how much she doesn't like doing them and then went on to say she was planning to send them out after Xmas. She wanted to do a card with pictures of all her great-grandchildren on it. She has no Internet and so I offered to help her make one. There really isn't much that makes me as happy as helping my grandma. I'm not sure why but I so much enjoy helping her in any way I can. Maybe it's because she is always SO appreciative of it. 

I promptly sent a text to my sister and cousins asking for a picture of the kids. They all delivered rather quickly too! My cousin sent me hers first and here I stood staring at this adorable picture of her two children beaming at the camera. I was flipping through my own portfolio of my children and had a hard time coming across one where both were smiling. So what did I do? I took out my camera and started snapping away trying to get both of them to strike a pose and smile ever so sweetly for me. 

I put my camera down after a few shots and thought to myself, what the heck am I doing?! J has always been far more smiley than Eme and getting him to smile for the camera was never much of a struggle. Emelyn on the other hand is way more serious. She's more reserved like her daddy and her smiles don't come as easily, but man when they do they sure are cute!! Each child is so unique and different and I needed to remind myself of that today. They are who they are and getting a picture of both my kids posed and smiling doesn't happen too often! So here is the photo I chose for my grandma's card. It fits my children so perfectly and ironically enough I think they are both semi smiling!

Hope you all had a wonderful Holiday! 
XO

Christmas Morning in our Underwear

Well it happened.  Santa delivered.  Christmas morning was almost a bust until a package was spotted, hidden under the Christmas tree with a special gift inside.  It was ripped open in seconds, tears of happiness streamed down faces, and screams of joy echoed through the neighborhood.   

Ok, that's not how it happened at all.  There were no screams.  No crisis was averted.  In fact, I had to point out the package under the tree, pick it up, coax Bug over to look at it, and tear it a little bit to pique her interest.  It was the sound of paper ripping that got her going {she's totally into tearing paper of any kind for some reason}. When she finally got the box opened, a small smile washed over her face as she softly whispered, "undies."  Through the smile, I could see some lingering reservation though.  I watched and waited as she pulled each pair out.  First the Toy Story undies, then Wall-e and Finding Nemo, before she came to the ones.  Or should I say, The Ones.  Her face lit up like it was Christmas morning {wait} and she shouted, "CAR UNDIES!"  She pulled them out and her hands flew into the air as if she'd just witnessed the winning play for her favorite sports team. 

 

Her face says it all

Before I knew it {although I had totally expected it} she had dropped trou and was putting them on.  Ironically, she bypassed the car ones and opted for the Nemo ones.  Later in the day she opted for the Buzz ones.  I think she was so excited about them she had to have them out in the open where she could look at them frequently. 

Today she chose the Car Undies.  And they're adorable.

The jetta dream

As long as I can remember I've always wanted a jetta. Preferably a five speed but a jetta nonetheless. I had a friend in high school who had a silver one and I was always so jealous, I loved that car! Unfortunately, I never had the money to buy my dream car. Back in 2008 Z and I leased a car (not our smartest move but what worked best at the time). After deliberating over what to get we decided on a Camry, still not my jetta!

Here we are in almost 2012 and I almost 30 and I am finally getting my dream mobile! Z's two seater red racer (Honda del sol) has served us well this past year but with no room for kids seats it's time for us to find something more accommodating to life with kids.

So today we go to pick up our 2003 silver Volkswagen jetta station wagon! On top of it being a jetta it's a station wagon, wahoo! Gosh I really am a mom huh! Now we have our mini van and our wagon. It's the simple things that make me happy these days!

Pictures to come soon. What is your dream mobile??

XO

Take it easy sick mama

Yesterday while I was laying down for naps with the kids I felt the dreaded pain. It wasn't long ago, a month, that I just got over mastitis. I thought no way, not again. I was wrong.

A trip to the clinic, a fever of 104 and two children who only wanted mom..I was miserable. My fever finally broke last night and I have three doses of antibiotics in me but I am exhausted and just not feeling great at all.

The words I keep hearing from everyone, "you need to take it easy". I am pretty certain of the fact that those words coupled with my highly energetic, spirited children do NOT belong in the same sentence. I could go on and on about how my morning has been but instead I'm going to close with my appreciation for my mother in law who has rescued me temporarily.

A picture of what we are doing today.

XO

Santa Bills For That

Tonight at work a co-worker was telling a story about his 6 year old son saying how great it was that all the presents from Santa were free. Eric laughed and told him that mom and dad get a bill from Santa for all those toys. He went on to explain how years ago Santa and the elves would build toys out of wood but no one wanted those kinds of toys anymore.

I thought this was an interesting way of teaching kids about money and not getting sucked into the "I want/need" mentality that the holidays can cause.

Car Undies: Pink or Blue, Girls or Boys

This is a follow up to my last post about Car Underwear...For A Girl

I called every single local kids clothing store I could think of asking if they carried kids underwear.  All of them said no which means I never made it to my second question, if they had car undies.  So I caved and went to Target and bought Bug the car undies she's been talking about for a month.  And I bought her the boy ones. 

Earlier this week we were in the underwear isle and she saw The Ones and nearly launched herself out of the cart to get to them.  She was reaching for the boy undies.  When I showed her the package of pink car undies, she promptly turned her nose up at them and said "these ones mama," pointing to the package of blue colored briefs.  I just smiled and said we'd have to see if Santa brings them.

Tonight, I walked around the store carrying those boys undies and a Lightening McQueen car to put in her stocking, wondering if I was making the right decision.  Should I be pushing more "girly" stuff on her?  Should I make her wear dresses and leggings that match and curl her hair and put pretty bows in it?  Am I doing her an injustice by allowing her to wear boy underwear, dinosaur jammies, and play with trains?  Is she less of a girl because she chooses to snuggle a dinosaur than a doll?  No.  She is who she is.  Yes, some days she wears blue sweatpants and an orange stripped monster shirt with her green froggie boots and a pumpkin hat.  But there are also the days when she wants to wear a pink dress, stripped leggings, and have her hair done in pigtails with ribbons in it.  I let her pick out what she wants to wear every day, after all I choose what to wear based on what kind of mood I'm in. 

So for Christmas my daughter will find exactly what she's been so patiently and enthusiastically asking Santa for.  Car undies.  Boy ones.

After I got home from the store, I saw a friend had posted a link on Facebook about how a teacher handled gender stereotypes in her classroom.  I swear to you it was a sign.  I'm confident in my decision to let Bug be the person she is and to not let society mold her into what they believe she should be.  Reading this put me that much more at ease.  Here's the link to the article about the teacher who helped her kids break the barriers of gender stereotyping.

I will be blogging more about this issue, because to me it is an issue.  It's everywhere.  All you have to do is open the Sunday newspaper to the ads and you'll see girls playing house and boys tinkering with tools.  Or turn on the tv to any kids channel and you'll see it all over the commercials.  Boys are doing active activities while girls are playing with dolls, cooking, or putting on nail polish.  Why does society feel the need to create labels and not only put them on our children, but expect them to uphold them?   

I would love to know you're thoughts on gender stereotyping.  Do you find yourself in the same position?  Do you believe that girls should be girls and boys should be boys?  What about friends and family, do they agree?  Disagree?  Have your views changed over the years?

~JO

The season of giving..and receiving

I received yet another package in the mail today of gifts for the kids. They are little wooden peg people and I couldn't help but order them for the kids. They will go perfect with Eme's dollhouse! They were a mere $5 which isn't a lot but after taking inventory of what the kids have I'm beginning to think I've gotten lost in the meaning behind Xmas.

Each year I stress myself out about what we are going to get the kids. Last year Eme was so little that it didn't matter but this year I wanted her to join in on the Xmas morning fun! We decided on a dollhouse for her, mostly because it's something that both of them can use as they get older and also because I'm on a waldorf kick right now! Z's parents found a wooden train table with all sorts of tracks and a city on it for J. I thought this would be a great gift for him, something different than cars, it doesn't make noise and it will allow him to be creative. Yet for some reason I keep coming back to this gift. Here we are a few days from Xmas and I'm still not sure if I should give this to him.

After taking a closer look at all I have for the kids (stocking stuffers, Santa gifts, m & d gifts) I am thinking many of them will be returned without the kids ever knowing they existed. Simplifying is my goal right now yet I seem to have veered off track!

What is your Xmas gift giving tradition? Is it the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read"? I'd love to hear what you are doing this year!

XO

Car underwear... for a girl

My 2 year old daughter asked Santa for "car undies."  I have no idea where this came from or why in the world she would think of such a thing, but after 3 visits with Santa and her asking for them every. single. time., I am on a mission to help Santa find car underwear... for a girl.  Let me tell you this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do!  I'm not totally sure if it's Pixar Car undies she wants or just anything with cars on them, but let me tell you, it's damn near impossible to find them.  Actually this far, it is impossible.  Oh there are boys underwear with cars on them all over the place, along with trains, spaceships and rockets.  I have found 1 package of girl car undies and they're at Target but they're in the wrong size.  I was even willing to buy them--going against my personal challenge of only buying Christmas presents online or from local businesses.

What to do.  Am I experiencing what many parents experience during the holidays...."I have to have that toy or else"?  And parents run all over the countryside looking for that specific toy, pulling their hair out and cursing under their breath along the way, only for the kid to be over it 2 days after receiving it?  Car undies is such a funny request and I'm the type of person who loves a challenge that, yes, I'm willing to be that parent who will go to {nearly} any extreme to get Bug what she wants.  In this case.

And I'll probably end up getting her boy undies, which she loves and I'm fine with {she already has a pair} but it's all about the challenge of finding a pair of underwear that is traditionally boy themed, for a girl.

~JO

Simplicity parenting.. Chapter by chapter

I have read this book and taken so much from it. It's a book that I feel I need to keep re-reading because each time it teaches me something new. This book seems to have influenced quite a few people. I continue to keep hearing about it all over the place, the SP hype!

I read on a blog about this gal doing a SP book review. I liked the idea so well that I think I will do the same. Break it down, chapter by chapter and dissect this marvelous book! Join in and let us know what you think of the book as well!

Chapter one here we come..again!
XO

Dance me mommy

Last night as I was starting my bedtime with J, we went in to our big family bed to lay down. I sat him on the bed and he instantly started fussing in his raspy sick voice. His big blue sleepy eyes looked up at me and he said in his whiny tired voice "I want you to dance me mommy". It doesn't happen very often but when he is feeling clingy and in need of some close mommy attention he says it. And so I did. I danced my almost 40 pound three year old, not for very long, but we danced, him and I. I thought to myself, will this be the last time I get to dance him? Will there be another moment where he stares adoringly in to my face and whispers those words? Life moves fast and I a lot of times move at that fast pace with my kids forgetting to live in the now. Last night, I danced with my boy and I pray there will be more nights ahead of dancing together.

XO

J-ism

Last night were getting ready to head to my in laws for a quick visit. Me entry way is soo small and I literally despise getting ready and out the door! It takes far too long and I feel like no one cooperates!

Last night was the same way. J chucked his shoe over the railing and I told him to come down at get it. He was being kind of sassy and so I told him, "if you continue to sass then we just won't be able to go to Nama and bumpa's". He looked at me from the top of the stairs and says "mom, the entryway makes me sassy"! I blurted out laughter because how could you not, coming from a 3 year old!

Keep reading for more J-isms, he's quite the character!!
XO

Oh happy day..

As Eme gets bigger and is now walking more and more her and Jabes are starting to become "buds". She follows him everywhere, constantly wanting to do what he is doing. Sometimes it bothers him, especially when it comes to his cars, but other times he is so patient with her and they engage in play together.

Twice today, before we even left the house at 9:30am, I caught them spending time together. Once was in the shower when they both sat on the floor together and read a book and played cars. The other time was after we were all dressed and getting ready to leave. They plopped down on the floor together and I hear J telling her about the animals in his book. He's making the sounds for her and she is completely engaged with him.

He truly loves his sister so much. Even though she bugs him at times he is very sweet to her. His new thing to tell me is, "mom you can upstairs and get that, I'll babysit Eme". Lately I've been running up to grab something and when I come back down he's sitting right there with her talking. He has become quite the mother hen. Always concerned with what she is doing and trying to be in charge of her.

Here are a few pictures of my little buds. Enjoy!
XO

Waldorf inspired

My obsession with Waldorf remains. After touring the school last week we fell in love with the calm environment that Waldorf brings. Although, J was in tip top form so I sort of sat there wondering if this really was a good fit for him. He was loud, thunder foot, was trying to pick his sister up, not wanting to share with the other little gal there and I sat back watching and holding my breath a bit. I will admit that as we pulled up I prayed for him to be on a good behavior! It turned out that him showing himself, good and hard moments, was good. I felt as though it gave the teacher an insight in to who J is, spirited, and even still she told me she thought he was just fine.

So here I am a week later and I am still very Waldorf inspired. After my previous post I did in fact tackle my basement of toys. I got rid of bags of toys and it felt so nice. J helped and was very hands on in the process. He willingly got rid of cars and chose his favorites to keep. We donated most of our plastic toys, even though there is still some that remains, I am feeling better about where we are at. For Xmas the kids are getting some good wood toys and I am trying to pull off a more Waldorf life. I would LOVE for our home to look that way, I don't see it happening any time soon but it is my hopes.

I am really trying hard to put an end to screen time or at least limit it quite a bit. After seeing how he is when he watches a show (completely tuned out from the outside world and having fits when I turn it off) I have decided that this needs to be extremely limited. We've done pretty well for the past week and a half!

So my Waldorf inspiration continues and I'm taking steps to make it doable for our family. One day at a time right?!

Pictures to come soon!
XO

Reliving the birth of our baby girl

The wave of emotions that consume you when your love is born. It completely rocks your world. 

Our little 6 pound 10 ounce sweetie all cocooned up.

Nearing a year...

My how quickly this year has gone. I am sitting in bed nursing Eme for her nap and all of a sudden a big wave of emotions hit me. She is no longer a baby. Today she turns 1.

I remember the day we found out I was pregnant with her. Z was not convinced after a few tests that this was true (it happened far quicker with her than it did with J), so me being the stubborn one I am said "fine I'm going to the pharmacy and getting a digital one, that way you can't argue it!". Sure enough it said pregnant in clear letters. No arguing.

Her pregnancy was a long ride, filled with lots of anxieties. Early on I had spotting and an ultrasound could only detect a fetal pole. It was the longest two week wait for the next appt. The follow up showed us a beautiful beating heart. Our decision to go to the birth center was the best decision we could have made. J's delivery was terrible and it left me with some huge scars to try and heal. The birth center was empathetic to my fears and worked with me in every way possible to overcome my fears and have trust in the natural childbirth process. They were gentle, loving, responsive, non-judgmental, and genuinely care about each family that enters.

Many ultrasounds, many infections, my fundal height measuring small, a low weight gain and through all of this our baby girl remained constantly strong. Her heartbeat was always great, ultrasounds showed her growing, and there were never any complications. She was perfect.

Once we found out it was in fact a girl we decided her name would be Charlotte Lucille and call her Charley. And then came the indecisive part of me and then the googling of names! Charley wasn't off the table but we just weren't sure it was our baby's name. In October 2010 when I was 35 weeks pregnant we received a call that my grandpa passed away. It hit my family hard. Anyone who knew my Grandpa knows what a wonderful and caring man he was. There wasn't an ounce of mean in him. His smile always melted my heart and how much he loved his family is something I hope I can show to my own. I knew our little girl somehow needed to have some of her great grandpa's kind spirit in her. We learned that his middle name was Emil. It didn't take much convincing for Z. We toyed with Emilia. We toyed with her middle name being Emil and instead of Charley doing Lucille as her first name. And then we brought back a name we had on our list a while back, Emelyn. It was perfect. We would blend my grandpa's middle name with my mom's middle name (Emil-Lynn ) and the two of them would forever be united forming the name for our beautiful daughter. Her first name couple with her middle name, Lucille, named after my Grandma who also holds such a special place in my heart, made her quite the special little girl even before she was born.

5 weeks later on her due date Emelyn arrived peacefully in the water. It was such a beautiful experience this time around. I was surrounded by my favorite people. The midwives who were there are two women who I will forever be grateful for. My grandpa was watching over me and had given these women to me in a time of need. They made this experience what it was. They helped me to find the confidence I needed to birth our baby girl. They were there to laugh with me, cry with me, push me when I needed it and to really be my advocates. And my handsome husband. I couldn't have done this without him. He never left my side. He touched me when I needed it, gave me gentle kisses and kind words, this time around he knew what I needed. I love you Zach. My mother in law was by my side as well. She also experienced J's birth but after touring the birth center she knew that I would be well cared for and I don't think for a moment she questioned anything. The only person missing was my mom. She was flying in from IN the next day. Even though she wasn't physically there she was still a part of this process. She was the one who I called in the middle of the night while I was contracting. She was the first person my MIL called when Eme was born. She was still a part of this.

I remember when I was pregnant wondering how I could possibly love another child as much as I did J. People would tell me your love divides. I don't think you can believe that until you experience it. The second she was born, at 11:25am, I fell in love again. Those maternal feelings overwhelmed me just as much as they did when J was born. You DO love your children all the same and your love truthfully does divide.

One year later, here we are. Jameson is 3 and Emelyn is 1. Eme, you have taught me so much. You are such a beautiful little girl. You definitely have your Grandpa's kind spirit and he is proud looking down at you. You have my feistyness and your dad's calm demeanor. You are more serious than your brother was as a baby but when no one is around your goofiness comes out and you are such a little clown. Your pretty blonde hair and your sparkling hazel eyes, from your dad, make us smile each day. You make us laugh even at 3:30am when you think it's a good time to wake up for the day. You and your brother keep us going each day.

So today I'm wishing my baby girl the happiest birth-day wishes. We love you Emelyn Lucille.

Waldorf, Montessori, eclectic...

Anyone who knows me well knows that I often times get very revved about a new passion in my life. Before J was born I was all about cloth diapering. When he arrived, he wasn't. 5 months after his birth I picked it up again and he was cd'd until he potty trained. My daughter has been cd'd since she was a couple weeks old. Some things I stick with and my passion remains, other things fizzle away.

My new "passion" obsession is schooling and decluttering this pit. I've been on this for a while. It seems that since Eme Lu was born we have moved into a bit more of a crunchy mindset. We buy mostly organic, have been trying to buy more wooden toys, buy things used, watch what types of products go in our bodies, home make certain products, etc. There is one thing I continue to struggle with and that is toys. J has had an obsession with cars for well over a year. I have completely fed in to that obsession. Anything car related he has. It has taken me quite some time to realize that he really doesnt need so much. Cars are his thing and in my selfishness it has always been kind of a crutch.

Our house is sitting at a crossroad right now. I have weeded through many toys and have gotten rid of so much but we still have far too many toys. My basement is a land mine. I so badly want to find some peace in our cluttered home but for some reason there just constantly seems to be more of everything. I feel stressed most days when I look around and I can only imagine my kids feel the same way. There is TOO much.

Let's go back a little to my schooling topic which ties in to our home. Z and I, for some time now, have been talking about schooling options for the kids. We know that mainstream public schools is not the route we want to go. We have been on a homeschool kick lately, even joining a homeschool coop. We haven quite decided which type of homeschooling we'd like to do, if this is the route we decide to go. I thought maybe Montessori mostly, but referring to ourselves as eclectic. I am now on a Waldorf kick. After researching a waldorf school here I strongly feel that this would be a great fit for J, without seeing it of course! I ordered Em her first Waldorf doll and have plans, fingers crossed, to attempt to make my own.

Where my problem lies is making our home into more of a Waldorf or Montessori type home. I don't know where to start. I so badly want to make a change and each day I wake up revved to do so but I then get overwhelmed and by afternoon it fizzles away. Do I literally get rid of all our plastic toys and slowly start integrating more wood? Do I make this change slowly? I feel that I need to tackle the toys head on otherwise I'll just keep accumulating and I will never get on top of it.

For any if you who have decided to make a Waldorf change how did you do so? Did you Find that once you made the change your family was more at peace? Did your children search for their old plastic toys or were they content? I'm wanting to start this endeavor but don't know where to begin!

My mom is in town and we have Emes party Sunday. Perhaps today is the day to start this in the basement. Get bags and start donating! Check back to read my follow up post! Will this new obsession remain or will it fizzle...